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It is important for you, a caregiver of the elderly, to remember to care for yourself too. Often times a caregiver for the elderly put their lives on hold to care for their parents. It becomes such a stress on you that you should remember to take time for your own emotional needs. You have your own life to lead and you have taken on the responsibility to care for your elder.
The stress from care giving can make you ill or depressed. You want to take time for yourself so you can rejuvenate yourself, restore your energy, and get balance back in your life.
At least monthly (weekly if possible) go out for a movie and/or dinner. You can even take some sometime for a quick overnight vacation. I know it is very hard to say that you need a break and you feel that you can’t leave your elder, but for you to take great care of your elder; you must care for yourself too.
There are a great number of resources available to you for taking a few hours or a day or two off. Here are a few resources (do a Google search in your area for these resources):
Most of the above listed charge some sort of fee, and some can be paid by Medicare (your elder must qualify under their guidelines).
I know in these days and times that money is tight, and especially if you are using your own money to supplement your elder’s care, but remember, you can’t do your elder any good if you don’t care for yourself.
Try asking your friends to come over and help out for a night so you can run and get some dinner many will certainly help for a few hours. You can always get them a “little gift” to show your appreciation. My husband would do just about anything for a big bar of chocolate or a bottle of wine.
Remember you need care too! You are important and you have important work to do with your elder.
Here is a video about dealing with the tough decisions you have to make as an elder care giver.
Below is a video that I found that describes cataracts:
If you are taking your elder away from home for a doctor’s appointment or to a movie, dinner etc always take your elder’s medications with you. You never know how long you may be gone and those really shouldn’t be taken late or skipped. Just get a little pill container and put in the pills you may need for the day and drop them in the back pack or purse. Men can carry them in their shirt pockets too! My Dad used to carry his in his pocket (he used one like the one shoen above) . He would get up in the morning and Mom would place them in his shirt pocket. Of course, she made sure he would wear a t-shirt or button down that has a breast pocket.
Some people think that they can just take their medications when they return home even it fit late. However; what happens is that now it is too close to the next dose. So it is very important to keep to your elder’s schedule. It can really throw off their blood glucose levels. Here is little video that I found about people who are skipping their drugs such as blood pressure medications. Remember you need to take your pills as the doctor suggests.
My Dad had prostate cancer and they removed his prostate back in 1990. After the surgery he had issues with incontinence. He would often have an accident while we were out of the house at a doctor’s appointment or out for dinner. He was ok if you could get him to the bathroom quickly, but if he got excited or was in a hurry unzipping, he would have an accident or get some urine on his clothes. A great help for you, the family caregiver, is to assemble a backpack that was filled with incontinence clean up items and a few other supplies.
· Baby Wipes
· Gloves (lots of them for you)
· Adult Diaper or (maxi pad – at one time we used to stick a maxi pad in his underwear to catch the drips)
· Butt Cream – as I call it, most people call it diaper rash cream. I personally dislike calling them baby products because they aren’t babies.
· Clean Underwear if not using adult incontinence products
· Clean Pair of Shorts or Pants
· Clean Shirt (yes, sometimes the pee gets on the shirt especially with our Dad, you know that “thing” has a mind of its own sometimes)
· Clean Socks (again, it happens)
· Baby Powder (this helps with the sweating in the summer from the adult diapers)
It is so much better on him to be able to get out of wet clothes and not be embarrassed. You can also keep these supplies in the trunk of the car, so you don’t have to carry them with you, you can just run out to the car when needed. I know everyone doesn’t have a car and you may use public transportation, that’s where the back pack really comes in handy.
It’s that time of year again when Houstonians prepare for hurricane season. One area of hurricane preparedness that many people forget about is how to care for the elderly in the hurricane season.
Elderly are very uncertain of changes and last year during Ike many elderly were very confused during the power outages and the lack of services that were not available.
One way to help you with caring for your elder during a storm is to be prepared.
Here are some helpful hints for you to consider:
Of course the items listed above are in addition to your regular hurricane supplies such as food, water, batteries, flashlights, battery operated radio or TV, cash, first aid kit, and other essential items that your family may need during a storm.
Nail hygiene is very important as well as elder skin care. Check the toe nails at least every 2 weeks as well as the fingernails. The toe nails if left unclipped can curl under the toes and become very painful and will make walking harder on your elder. Keep fingernails short and groomed as your elder can scratch themselves and cause bleeding sores. If any of these are at pressure points, a scratch can turn into a pressure or bed sore.
Today, I want to chat to you about your elder and the upcoming hurricane season. Here in Texas we have a great resource available to our elders, it is called the 211 Special Needs Transportation Registry. This registry is great for the elderly. The registry is designed so that you can pre-register your elder with the State of Texas so that in the event of an emergency, such as a hurricane, the State can provide you with some help such as evacuation out of danger areas. This is very important if you have an elder on a ventilator, dialysis, are non-ambulatory, Oxygen dependent, or are in a home hospice situation.
During our past hurricane, IKE, some parts of the Houston area were out of power for 2 to 3 weeks. It was hard for the City and County to help the elderly because they didn’t know where they were. Can you imagine not being able to provide the basic necessities for your elder? I am sure that if my Dad had still been alive during IKE, he would not have made it with out any electricity for 2 weeks. He was on an oxygen concentrator, feeding pump, and needed breathing treatments to name a few of his electrical uses.
211 Special Needs Transportation Registry
Explanation of Medical Special Needs Levels
If you live in the hurricane evacuation zone, you don’t have a ride and you have a disability or special health care need, it is very important for you to dial 2-1-1 now to register for a ride.
Level 1
People who rely on or need others to provide their daily, routine care such as a child under 18 without adult supervision, etc.
Level 2
People who are blind, hearing impaired, deaf/blind, or have an amputation.
Level 3
People who need medical assistance including nursing care and help taking medicine. People who are dependent on equipment or those having mental health disorders.
Level 4
People who are not in a hospital, a long-term care/assisted living facility or state school but require important medical assistance (i.e., IV chemotherapy, ventilator, dialysis, life support equipment, including needing a hospital bed, total care, or who are morbidly obese).
Level 5
People in settings such as a hospital, long-term care/assisted living facility, or a state school.
People in the Level 5 category do not need to dial 2-1-1. The nursing home and/or assisted living facility will provide rides for their patients
As your elder ages they may have trouble getting up from and sitting on a regular toilet. You can get a “chair height” toilet and have someone install the toilet. Another option is placing a bedside toilet over the toilet. This also gives them hand rails to help in getting up. A bedside toilet may be covered by Medicare. A third option is a toilet seat adaptor which raises the height of the seat. You may have to try a few different items to find the perfect one for your elder.
I am currently reading a book called T for Trespass by Sue Grafton. In this Kinsey Millhone mystery, Kinsey is the neighbor of an 89 year old elderly gentleman named Gus. Gus is an active elderly man who fell and hurt his shoulder. He goes to the hospital and is in need of private home care since he lives alone and has no immediate family. In the story a very bad woman becomes his private duty nurse and proceeds to steal him blind as well as drug him so he is in a semi-unconscious state.
This story reminds me that the elderly need to be especially careful with their checkbooks and savings account passbooks. Even though you hire a person to take care of your elder and you trust them to provide great care, you must always be careful with others in your elder’s home. In the story, the nurse also alienates Gus from all his friends. This is a huge warning sign for anyone caring for your elder. Remember you are hiring them they are not just free to take over your home. Set boundaries and stick to them.
I highly recommend T for Trespass it is a wonderful book for anyone who is responsible for caring for their elder. I haven’t finished the book yet; it is also very hard for me to read since I really hate to hear about elder abuse.
When you take your elder out of the home for outings, doctor’s appointment or just to go to a movie, be sure to carry some elder care supplies. Our family used an old backpack, you sure can stuff a lot of items in there.
We had it all prepared to scoot out of the hose at a minute’s notice. We packed it with a change of clothes (Dad sometimes would have an accident and not make it to the toilet in time. He would be right there and not be able to get his pants down quick enough and he would get urine on his pants), a few snacks such as peanut butter crackers, some of those small kid sized drinks, some of those little fruit cups – with a spoon of course, and some adult diapers with some wipes and you can’t forget the GLOVES.
Oh, my gosh, this saved us so much time because we wouldn’t have to rush back home for the clothes. Actually my Mom, before she had her stroke, used to keep some depends, wipes and a change of clothes in the trunk of her car at all times. This can be a life saver especially if your elder soiled their clothes, you could whip them out and change their clothes and they wouldn’t get embarrassed, you just pop off the dirty clothes and get the new ones on and you are good to go.
Turn your elder’s water heater down. This will prevent scalding themselves with hot water if they only turn the water to the hot position or forget to turn on the cold water (if you have a double handle faucet). My Dad only knew one way to turn on the water and that was full blast. So it is a good idea to keep your elder safe is to keep it cool.
When our parents begin to age, it’s important to reassure them that their children are willing and able to care for their needs. Too often we forget that our parents cared for us when we were not able to, and we place them in a retirement home with strangers they might not know or recognize. The wisdom of our elders is something which should be cherished and appreciated for years to come. Elderly people might not always be up to date on the latest technology, but their knowledge of life is often rich and should be recognized by people of all ages. If you can’t make room for elderly parents in your home, make them as comfortable as possible at their home, and remember to visit often; even if it’s just a few minutes a day, that’s better than an hour a week.
When you partake in activities and interaction with your elders you will begin to appreciate all that they have to offer. You might even learn something about you, your family, or the world that you wouldn’t have otherwise!
When I was younger I had a good friend who was adopted. She was very happy with her adoptive family and never really cared to find her blood parents. When she was in her late teens she developed a rare blood disorder that doctors didn’t know how to treat.
A specialist asked my friend what she knew of her family history. He said that if he knew more about her family history, he may be able to find a treatment. Alas, it was too late. My friend died before she could trace her blood parents. Now I always tell people that their family medical history is of the greatest importance. It could save their lives one day!
Having an accident in public is never fun. What you probably didn’t know is that millions of adults in America suffer from incontinence. That means they have little control over their bladder and bowels. Incontinence can lead to humiliation and depression.
There’s no reason why an experience with incontinence should ruin anyone’s day or their life. Adults should be educated on the adult diaper. Wearing an adult diaper doesn’t keep accidents from happening, but it will prevent others from knowing about them.
When our parents grow older, it’s common for children to have to play a more active role in their care. It can be frightening and sad when adults put their parents in a retirement home, and thus family caregivers are quite common. When caring for your elderly parents, it’s good to allow them a sense of independence (as much as can be allowed given their health). This means installing railings, appliances, and furniture that are accessible for your parents. When the elderly can take care of themselves, just like all people, they feel more fulfilled and more active. Having others do everything for you can become tedious.
It’s also a good idea to take an active role in your elder’s care; know their diet, know their ailments and how to act in an emergency if necessary, and above all, let them know that you care about them. These are the secrets to success when it comes to elder care.
When we get older, our bodies cease to produce all the necessary vitamins and minerals to maintain our health. It’s common for older people to need to take medication to maintain their body’s normal functions. Taking more medication as you grow older is completely normal, but if the medication isn’t taken on a proper schedule, it can be harmful. It’s important to tell your doctor about all the medications you are taking, even if it’s just standard vitamins or painkillers.
Maintaining a medication schedule is essential for all patients, young and old, on medication. It’s important that you get the correct dosage to ensure your condition doesn’t worsen and the medication is having the full benefit. The reason new diseases and illnesses develop is often because people don’t take medication on schedule, and the bacteria mutates into something different that isn’t affected by the same medicine.
Check your sink and shower handles for ease of use for elders. Dad had a very hard time turning the faucet handles and would often leave the faucet running because the handles were too hard for him to turn. The best types of handles are the one handed levers that control the temperature and water flow with one easy movement. Jerry’s Granny had a hard time too with the round handles on the sinks. Granny has arthritis real bad and she just would wait for someone to come over and then she would fill up a basin in the sink so she would have hand washing water. The best types of handles are the one handed levers that control the temperature and water flow with one easy movement that way your elder can use the faucet easily and they can adjust the water as needed.
When beloved family members grow older, it’s often necessary for the younger generation to take care of them, even to the extent of inviting them to live in their home. In order to promote the finest elderly care, there a couple of steps necessary to take if they will be living with you. You should first make the bathroom more safe; this includes installing shower rails, a bathmat, and a raised toilet seat (depending on circumstances). You will also want to ensure that your elder can get around the house as easily as possible, so if you have stairs, try to make it more convenient for them to stay in one floor of the home. It’s also important to keep an eye on your elder’s diet; you will want to promote healthy and nutritious food in the home.
Taking these steps will allow your elder to live in comfort, and also help them to avoid asking the younger members of the household for help. It’s just as embarrassing for them as it is for the other person when you need help getting out of the shower!
Here is an article that I thought would be of interest to you from the Wall Street Journal
Have a wonderful New Years! Mary
Older Americans who banked on selling their homes to finance care in assisted-living facilities and retirement communities have seen their dreams go up in smoke amid the housing-market bust. At the same time, their investment portfolios have nose-dived.
In these rough economic times, funding long-term care poses a challenge for seniors and their families. There are a range of strategies you can pursue.
For people without long-term care insurance, which is the majority, the financial hit can be hard if care is needed. The average cost of a private room at a nursing home runs $76,500 per person annually, while a one-year stay in a one-bedroom unit in an assisted living facility costs $36,000 and periodic care from a home health assistant at $18,000 or more per year doesn't come cheap.
While there are no easy answers, shopping around, switching the care setting, pooling family finances and looking at loan options can be conduits to affordable care.
Many independent-living and assisted-living facilities, in particular newer facilities or those that embarked on ambitious expansion plans when the economy was riding high, are offering specials to boost flagging occupancy rates.
"Many facilities are offering to defer rent until seniors can sell their homes or are offering lower introductory rates for the first six months" as sweeteners, says John Temple, chief operating officer at A Place for Mom Inc., a national senior-housing referral service. (The service is provided free to consumers. A Place for Mom is compensated by the facilities when a senior is placed.)
Many facilities will waive the "community fee," a deposit typically equivalent to one-month's rent, for those who ask. The best deals to be had are often at smaller residential homes because they need to fill vacancies quickly and have more latitude to cut individual deals, according to Mr. Temple.
Continuing-care retirement communities, which offer more health services as seniors age, typically require entrance fees of hundreds of thousands of dollars, plus monthly fees.
Cheryl J. Sherrard, a certified financial planner at Rinehart & Associates in Charlotte, says switching to a smaller apartment can be a money-saving strategy for older Americans who've set their hearts on moving into a specific retirement community.
"I've seen communities allow couples to move in with a percentage of the entry fee due initially, but a delay on the remainder being due for a period of six months after move-in," giving seniors wiggle room to complete the sale of a house, she says.
"Retirement communities backed by nonprofit religious organizations can be a more-affordable option," says Karen Schaeffer, president of Schaeffer Financial in Rockville, Md. (These communities welcome people of all beliefs.)
Mr. Temple recommends asking independent and assisted-living facilities about "non-premium rooms" that can be real bargains, but generally aren't advertised. Longer walks to the dining room and less desirable layouts or views account for the cheaper rates. Having a roommate might not be everyone's cup of tea, but "companion rates" can shave $1,000 a month off rent for single seniors who are willing to share, he says.
Widening your geographic search even by just a few miles can produce more budget-friendly options, says Karen Altfest, vice president of L.J. Altfest & Co. Inc., a fee-only financial-planning firm in Manhattan.
Family members can pitch in toward the cost of care in a variety of ways. For instance, individuals can make gifts of up to $12,000 per person per year without paying a federal gift tax. That exclusion amount will increase to $13,000 in 2009.
Another option is an intrafamily loan. This could provide a mechanism for adult children to lend money to cash-strapped parents who need funds now to pay for care until they can sell their homes.
A reverse mortgage is another option. Reverse mortgages enable homeowners age 62 or older, who own their home outright or have a small mortgage balance to convert home equity into cash without selling the house. The Home Equity Conversion Mortgage, or HECM, insured by the Federal Housing Administration and backed by the U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development, or HUD, is the most popular kind. Lending institutions also offer their own proprietary products.
The amount you can borrow will depend on your age, how much your home is worth and current interest rates. For a HECM the limit is $417,000, but proprietary products may allow you to borrow more.
Payments can be taken as a lump sum, in regular installments or as needed, or through a combination of these options. The accrued principal and interest comes due when the last borrower dies, sells the home or moves out permanently.
A big drawback of a reverse mortgage is the high fees, which closely mirror the closing costs on a regular mortgage.
For this reason, says Sue Hunt, a housing counseling programs manager for Consumer Credit Counseling Service of Greater Atlanta, reverse mortgages tend to make the most sense for people who want to spend the rest of their lives in their homes and whose total income, including the loan, will be sufficient to cover all their future expenses, she says.
With any type of loan, it's important to ensure you understand the fees, interest rates and repayment terms.
For instance, an important safety feature of an HECM is that your payments from the lender are guaranteed by the federal government. Plus, if your home is sold for an amount lower than the value of the loan, neither you nor your heirs will be liable for the balance, which isn't always the case with proprietary products.
I do not recommend any particular brand, I just don't recommend one of the disposable strips because you will sepend more money just buying new ones. The other one is a one time purchase and you can use it a long time.
Shopping for elderly home care products you need to take care of them can literally break your bank You want to get the most bang for your buck My favorite place is to shop at a wholesale store (Sam's Club, Costco, BJ's etc) for your elder's needs as much as possible. The discount stores are the way to go. If you just look at gloves and diapers for instance. Two boxes (50 pairs) of gloves cost about $10 at the wholesale store and one box (50 pairs) at a drug store runs about $13. You get twice as much for $3 less. Same with diapers, toilet paper, diabetic or non-diabetic drinks such as Ensure®. You definitely get back your yearly fee in just one trip.
Another great place to shop is on-line. You have to search the web to find the best deals, but it can be well worth your time, especially for medically related products. I shop at the local medical supply store, but their prices are very high, but if you need something now, you just have to suck it up and shop there. One issue with the on-line shopping is sometimes you have to buy in bulk and unless you have a place to store the products or if your elder is not going to use up the products, you may want to look locally.
When our Aunt Jay came to live with us, we had her in a twin bed in the middle of the room (so we could attend to her on both sides) with the head up against a wall. The first night she was with us, she fell out of bed. We had to get her to a doctor and have x-rays to see if she broke any bones. We felt so bad, but it never happened again. Bed rails were installed the next day.
The lack of feeling in the feet is called diabetic neuropathy. Another issue that diabetic can encounter is peripheral vascular disease (PVD). PVD occurs because you don't have enough blood flow to the legs and feet. A major cause of PVD is smoking. Smoking makes blood flow problems much worse. The carbon monoxide from the smoke damages a layer of cells that coats the lining of blood vessels allowing the plaque to stick to the walls of the vessels. This in turn doesn't allow proper blood circulation to the legs and feet. For example if your elder is walking around barefooted and they step on a splinter of wood, they may not feel that there is a splinter in the foot and it become infected. The elevated sugar level in their blood feeds the infection causing it to get worse and could get into the blood stream. We don't want that to happen, so keep those tootsies covered and protected.
In the Presidential Election of 2000 my parents lived in Florida (if you remember that is where we had the issue with the "hanging chads"). Well, Mom took Dad to vote and he went to the booth to punch his ballot for his candidate. He stepped out from the booth and shouted to Mom that voted for them all while he was waving his ballot!! Mom had to get the attendant to help Dad vote on a new ballot. They got him all fixed up and he cast a legal vote for only one candidate. So they are very willing to help your elder.
You know it was funny, my Dad always used to say "Vote and Vote Often" I guess that day he did just that in the 2000 election. Gosh, I sure do miss him and his sense of humor.
P.S. Today is Mom's birthday she would have been 86 :(
Last year my husband's cousin's son, Luke, died from the flu. He was a very active 12 year old boy who played all the sports. He was playing the last game of the year for his school's basketball team and fell over on the court. He was rushed to a local hospital and later taken by helicopter to a large children's hospital a few hours away. He died the next day. Oh, was that a tough funeral to attend. The tears let me tell you, not a dry eye in the large church. The family thought that he must have had a heart defect or some such because he died so suddenly, but the autopsy showed that he died from complications from the flu. It turns out he was "just getting over the flu" when he played the basketball game that day. What a tragedy.
Anyway, get your elder their flu shot. It is a low cost (free if you have Medicare) prevention that can make a huge difference in your elder's health. I know many of you think that you get the flu from the flu shot. Studies have shown that that is not true. The shot contains dead flu virus from the last season. It may not totally keep a person from getting the flu, but if you get the flu, it is usually a milder case.
I have had the flu once before and I thought I was going to die. I never felt so bad. I was living alone with just my 2 cats and I stayed on the couch for a week. There wasn't anyone to help me or give me any sympathy (which when you are sick is a very important thing), it was just me and the cats. Every year since, I have gotten the flu shot and I have never had the flu again. YEA!!!
Seriously, protect your elder from the flu.
A. In answer to your question about sitter care for your Mom there is really not any help at all. Our family looked into this extensively and we found out a few things.
Our parents needed 24/7 care and the expense was about $6K a month and the only thing we could do was to claim the expense for care (allowable by the IRS) on THEIR taxes under section 1 Medical and dental expenses on Schedule A. You are permitted to take off the cost of "medical care" but she has to exceed the 7% of her income and then you can take off what is over the 7%. However, all you will get back on the taxes is the amount of taxes that you paid. For example, one year we listed $74,980 on that line of for care and with all the other deductions the total was $75,906. The amount that was gotten back on the taxes was a refund of $3,171.00. Not much back. We had to pay the sitters and issue them a 1099 MISC - Miscellaneous Income form.
If you can claim your Mom as your dependent (there are a lot of legal issues with that and if she earns an income such as retirement/social security the limit is $3,200 a year to qualify) you can use the flexible spending dollars for dependent care, but you can only contribute $5K annually. It is tough to get a parent qualified under this plan.
If your Mom is a retired Veteran, you can try the aid and attendance help from the VA. This help is very tough to get. I couldn't get it for my bed ridden Dad, he earned too much money (over $18,000) and since he was on total feeding tube nourishments they said I couldn't anticipate his feeding needs so they excluded the $100K of nourishment costs. Anyway you can always try it takes months to get an answer and there is a HUGE amount of paperwork that you have to do and your Mom's doctor to do. Here is the link http://www.veteranaid.org/ These are the only financial help that we were able to find for in-home sitter care. Mostly you are on your own financially.
I did find one little thing that helped some. Our flexible spending dollars for healthcare can help you some. If you take the money out of your pay and put it into the flexible spending account you can be reimbursed for some of the incidentals that you use on your Mom under the "Over the Counter Healthcare Reimbursement." You can get your money back for things such as incontinence products, band aids, antibiotic cream, eye drops, cold medicines, analgesics, antacids, ear care products, etc (Aetna has a full list of items). I saved a bunch by saving the receipts for the incontinence products alone. This is at least one way to defer some of the cost associated with her care. I hope this helps and sorry there really isn't anything out there that helps with elder care it really is a shame.
Palliative care is a medical specialty that focuses on pain relief and other symptoms of an illness. The goal of palliative care is to ease suffering and to offer the best quality of life for the ill person. This type of care is not dependent on an end of life period of time, but can be given for any serious illness. Hospice care involves palliative care, but you do not have to have your elder on hospice to get palliative care. The palliative care team also helps the family of the patient make medical decisions and choose treatments that are in line with the family's goals. This care can be discontinued when the person's symptoms lessen.
Both hospice and palliative care can be covered by insurance plans, Medicare, and Medicaid. As always check before you admit your elder, just so you don't get any financial surprises.
If your elderly parent fell and broke their hip (God Forbid), their doctor may place them in a LTC for a period of a few weeks so that they can get physical therapy and restore the use of their hip.
Long term care facilities can be paid by Medicare and Medicaid depending on the reason for the admission. If the admission is considered a medical necessity, most likely it will be covered (broken hip, stroke recovery, etc.). Check with the facility before you admit you elder for their payment requirements. Also, you need to check for the length of stay. My Mom was in a LTC for 4 months, well Medicare only pays for 90 days, and then we had to self pay for the remainder of her stay (30 days at $190/day). It can become quite costly. Again, as with any type of care facility DO YOUR HOMEWORK before you admit your parent.
Do your elderly parents have difficulty getting in and out of chairs? If so, I have an easy low cost solution to your needs. If your elder is tall, put large chairs such as a recliner up on a sturdy wooden box to elevate the chair. If they are short and the chair legs are assessable you can either remove the legs on an item as a sofa (where it has 4 or 6 short legs) or cut them off to make them shorter. This makes the chair the correct height so they are not putting stress on their body trying to pull themselves up out of the chair. If your elder is short, cut a few inches of the legs of chairs so it is easier to get in and out of. You can also go the higher cost way and purchase a lift chair or a lift device. A chair lift device is a small device that you place in a chair and it gives them a boost up. These cost anywhere from $100 on up.
Nursing homes or skilled nursing facilities are one of the last places most children want to put their elderly parents, but sometimes that is the only option that is available to you. Nursing homes are for elderly people who have physical limitations, for younger people who have severe disabilities, or for people who were recently injured. These people need a tremendous amount of constant personal care. Nursing homes are required to have a licensed RN (nurse) on duty 24 hours a day. There are also many staff members who assist in caring for your elder. Many nursing homes do not have an adequate staffing to take great care of your elder. In our area of the country, there tends to be a shortage of Certified Nursing Assistants in the nursing homes and you can typically find 1 staff member to a wing of the unit and be caring for as many as 20 people on their shift. That’s a lot of diaper changes in one shift for one person.
I know that nursing homes can be a good thing for people, but I am very, very cautious about them. My Dad had to be in one for a short time while he received some IV antibiotics. I paid 3 people to stay with him 24/7 during his 4 day stay because of my impressions of nursing homes. I wasn’t all wrong about my impressions. The man in the bed next to my Dad was 93 years old and he was still walking, but needed help getting to the bathroom. They came to get him maybe once in 12 hours and then would leave him on the pot for 1 hour. Not kidding!!!
You have to be extremely vigilant if your elder is in a nursing home. My friend had her Mom in a nursing home for 8 years and had great luck with that home. She did visit her Mom almost EVERY day (except when she was out of town for business) and did a head to toe look over her body at every visit and paid close attention to her care. Remember there are excellent nursing homes, you just have to find them in your area.
Nursing homes can be paid by Medicaid or by private pay. DO YOUR HOMEWORK if you are looking to place your parent in a nursing home for an extended period of time or even for a short time. There are many, many rules and regulations that must be followed to have your elder’s care paid for by Medicaid.
Because stroke injures the brain, you may not realize that your elder is having a stroke. To a bystander, someone having a stroke may just look unaware or confused. Stroke victims have the best chance if someone around them recognizes the symptoms and acts quickly.
What are the symptoms of a stroke?
The symptoms of stroke are distinct because they happen quickly:
Sudden numbness or weakness of the face, arm, or leg (especially on one side of the body) Sudden confusion, trouble speaking or understanding speech Sudden trouble seeing in one or both eyes Sudden trouble walking, dizziness, loss of balance or coordination Sudden severe headache with no known cause What should a bystander do? If you believe someone is having a stroke - if he or she suddenly loses the ability to speak, or move an arm or leg on one side, or experiences facial paralysis on one side - call 911 immediately.
Act in Time
Stroke is a medical emergency. Every minute counts when someone is having a stroke. The longer blood flow is cut off to the brain, the greater the damage. Immediate treatment can save people's lives and enhance their chances for successful recovery.
Why is there a need to act fast? Ischemic strokes, the most common type of strokes, can be treated with a drug called t-PA, that dissolves blood clots obstructing blood flow to the brain. The window of opportunity to start treating stroke patients is three hours, but to be evaluated and receive treatment, patients need to get to the hospital within 60 minutes.
What is the benefit of treatment? A five-year study by the National Institute of Neurological Disorders and Stroke (NINDS) found that some stroke patients who received t-PA within three hours of the start of stroke symptoms were at least 30 percent more likely to recover with little or no disability after three months.
What can I do to prevent a stroke? The best treatment for stroke is prevention. There are several risk factors that increase your chances of having a stroke:
High blood pressure Heart disease Smoking Diabetes High cholesterol If you smoke - quit. If you have high blood pressure, heart disease, diabetes, or high cholesterol, getting them under control - and keeping them under control - will greatly reduce your chances of having a stroke.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Know Stroke. Know the Signs. Act in Time.", NINDS. January 2008. NIH Publication No. 08-4872
Well, Dad's rash still was there and wouldn't go away, finally the doctor told us that it was the fabric softener sheets. She said to change to a liquid fabric softener that you put in the washer and use one that is perfume free and dye free. The is only one on the market, Downy in the white bottle. It is a bit hard to find, but we found that if we use a hypoallergenic laundry soap, such as Dreft® it helps to reduce the risk of rashes and use the liquid fabric softener, his delicate elderly skin will be soft and beautiful. So my hint for the day is to wash all your elder's clothing, bedding and any other item that touches their skin in a hypoallergenic laundry soap and use a liquid fabric softener.
Again, as with any program, you need to do your homework before you send your parent to an adult day care center. They may or may not have a license; they may offer services that are totally different from other centers. You need to find one that fits the need of your parent. The price ranges varies greatly for these types of centers. They can be as low as $25 a day to $100+ a day. This variation depends on the type of services your elderly parent needs and your physical location in the city or state. Adult day care centers are generally paid for by you or your elder, but you may be able to find some assistance from Medicaid or Veteran's Administration etc.
Since our elderly parent had a bit of dementia and tended to wander around the home, our solution was to get a wind chime and put it on the door, so when the door opens the chime ring. This is an inexpensive way to have an audible signal that someone is leaving or arriving. There are many other ways of monitoring your elder's whereabouts, but an alarm system is very expensive. A wind chime is just a few bucks. The wind chime also acted as a door alarm when Dad was bedridden and our staff would be back in the bedroom with him and one of us would come in, they would know that there was someone there and not be surprised. Remember, in Asia, windchimes are considered good luck and a part of Feng Shui!
When your elderly parents get to the point where you feel that they are unable to live alone, but they still want to be independent, Assisted Living may be a good option for them.
An assisted living facility is for those people who need help with activities of daily living. An assisted living facility reminds me of a college dorm. The elderly couple or person has their own apartment (some have separate kitchens and bedrooms), but mostly eat in the dining room. There are many activities which your parent can participate in. These facilities provide a tremendous amount of socialization for your elder, a major bonus!
Assisted living facilities also can help care for your elder. They provide laundry, housekeeping and maintenance services (my college dorm never did my laundry or cleaning for me) as well as hands on care of your elder for such tasks as bathing, eating, dressing, and assistance with medication. Of course you will pay for these extra “hands on care” services in addition to the rent for the room or apartment.
If your parent doesn’t need too much care this is a wonderful choice. In my situation with my parents, they needed too much care and this wasn’t a good choice for them. Be careful when evaluating an assisted living facility they can have many hidden charges. It is best to get all your potential costs known upfront otherwise your parent’s (or your) wallet may be in for one heck of a surprise. Assisted living facilities are not covered under Medicare or Medicaid as far as I know, these is a private pay facilities.
Dry skin is the biggest culprit when it comes to skin problems for the elderly. As people age, the skin becomes thinner, and can't retain the same level of moisture, which often leads to dry, flaky skin. Thin, dry skin is also more susceptible to tearing, and easily lets bacteria in, which can lead to infection.
The most important thing is to keep skin clean - but not to overdo it. Hot water and too frequent showering will actually dry the skin out worse. Warm water and bathing every other day is the recommended method for the elderly. The elderly should also avoid bubbly soaps and shower gels, which generally contain harsh detergents, and stick to cream-based cleansers. And finally, keep the skin hydrated by moisturizing with a cream lotion after every shower.
One night, for example, my sister, Anna, was taking care of Mom and Dad by herself. She heard Mom cry out at about 2 am and knew that she needed her adult diaper changed. In the middle of getting the diaper off her, Dad got up from his bed and had poo going all down the backside of his jammies. Both had a very bad case of diarrhea. Anna found out we were out of gloves and she had go get both of them clean up with no gloves. Oh, what a mess, and to have all that poo all over your hands, arms, legs etc. ICK!!! We always kept a good supply of gloves in the house after that incident.
When our family was faced with the decision on what to do with Mom and Dad, we choose in home elder care. This choice was the best for our situation, but it was one that that was very hard on the "kids" and a financial drain. All choices are hard, because it can be the choice of life or death, literally, if your family picks hospice. In upcoming blogs I will discuss some of the "housing" options for your elder.
The elderly are especially vulnerable to changes of any kind, but the changes with this new post hurricane situation have many elderly in a tail spin. Many people just do not understand why they have no phone service or electricity. Gas and groceries has also been a challenge for the elderly. Many elderly can't wait in line for 2 hours for gas and many grocery stores aren't stocking the offbeat items the elderly need.
Try to make your elder feel safer and more secure in the post hurricane times by:
I hope all of you will get power back on soon and keep your elder healthy!
In 1970, a West Virginia housewife, Marian Lucille Herndon McQuade, the mother of 15 children, 40 grandchildren, and eight great grandchildren, initiated a campaign to set aside a special day just for Grandparents so that we can honor our grandparents, can give our grandparents the opportunity to show their love for their grand children, and for the grandchildren to become aware of the value that their grandparents can provide with their skills and knowledge. In 1978, the United States Congress passed legislation proclaiming the first Sunday after Labor Day as National Grandparents Day. The legislation was signed by President Jimmy Carter. The month of September was chosen for the holiday, to signify the "autumn years" of life.
September 7, 2008 is National Grandparents Day. Take the time to celebrate with your family and honor your elders. I never had a chance to be with my grandmothers because they were deceased when I was born. I didn’t have an opportunity to learn and grow from them. Only one of my grandfathers was alive when I was born and he lived in another part of the country from us and I only remember him speaking Polish.
I, however; have adopted my husband’s grandmother, we call her Granny. Interestingly, my mom and his grandmother are the same age, but I never thought of Granny like a mom, always a grandmother. Granny has so much wisdom to bestow and has so much to share with the entire family. It’s hard to see Granny age. It seems like just the other day when I met her. Granny’s oldest son, was burned in a fire at home and was in the local burn unit. My husband I went every day to see Granny during our lunch hour.
At that time, I had no idea she would become my Granny, but we formed a life-long bond. Granny and I have become close over the past 11 years since I met her. She has been through the death of her son, the law suits over her son’s estate, the deaths of all her brothers and sisters, and her own failing health issues. She is still corner stone of the family.
Sorry, I have rambled, but my point is taking the time on Sunday, September 7, 2008 and show your love to your grandparents or and your children’s grandparents. You don’t have to spend any money on them, if you don’t want to, but at least pick up the phone and give them a call and tell them you love them!
