I called 911 and they took her to the ER. After many hours, it turned out that she had a toxic level of one of her heart pills in her blood stream. What the MD told us was that she was dehydrated and the cardiac pills concentrated in her blood stream and made the pills work better. So that slowed her heart. In addition, she had a GI blockage. The MD told me that alot of her cardiac pills are calicum blockers and the muscles take calcium to work. She also said that the GI track is a large muscle, so that the calcium blockers from the heart meds also slow down the GI tract, causing constipation. So I did check and didn't overmedicate her with her pills, I was worried about that. Mom was admitted to the hospital. The overmedication thing has resolved itself by just not giving her that med for a few days. The constipation thing is still ongoing. They have done a few cat scans etc to check on the progress of that. And she had a bladder infection. The newest thing is that she has aspirated some food and now has as aspiration pneumonia. They are treating her with more antibiotics and breathing treatments. I will let everyone know how she is doing. I know this is a bit sketchy, but I have been busy at work and running back and forth to the hospital has Anna and I pooped. For now she is in the hospital and doing ok, still has the constipation and still has pneumonia, bladder infection is better and the heart issue is better. So we are 1/2 the way there. Love and hugs to all, Mary
Anna sat down and talked with her about Aunt Jay and she seemed to do a bit better after that. I kept her updated on things and read all the cards to her and just kept her in the loop. Today she is very well. Dad was very upset when we told him about Jay. He did well at the funeral and I am not too sure if he still realizes that she died. He walks past the room she was in and tells me "there was a lady in there, but she isn't there any more." I just say, "yes there was" and he then talks about something else. Then just a few days later there was the Katrina hurricane. We weren't impacted on a personal level, but my hospital was. We took in about 30 patients and other parts of my office area were busy (I share office space with our Risk Management dept and they get to deal with alot of the legal issues with the patient's like how to treat them if there isn't any parent to give permission. Lots of the kids we got, their parents were evacuated to another area or even state.), but the Safety dept was not busy with those folks at all. We of course, just got through with Hurricane Rita. Anna and I made the decision not to move Mom and Dad. We are not in the area of the city that was under mandatory evacuation and we are not in a flood zone. Anna did a wonderful job of accumulating supplies (depends, wipes, gloves, food, etc) for us and we both prepared both homes for the storm. All in all, the storm was pretty uneventful.
At my house (which is 7 blocks from Anna's) we had the cable go out at 8pm on Fri (it got back on Sunday) and we had quite a few small power outages that only lasted a few seconds. At Anna's house, they lost power at 3 am Sat morning and it came on at 8 am and then off again at 9am, then it was back on for good at 1pm. So they had about 8 hours of no power, but all was good. Anna stayed at the house to ride out the storm and Liz and her family was there too. Jerry and I and our friend Buddy (he lives near NASA and was under the evacuation) rode it out at our home. We really didn't have any damage to any of our homes, just some tree limbs that fell. In fact, we only got about 1/2 of rain during the entire storm. We still had to water the grass after the storm. Jerry has two co-workers that live near where the storm made landfall and they had some damage and currently have no power or water. Other houses in the neighborhood had some fences blow down, and there were some uprooted trees. Our biggest issue during the storm was that Sara, our nurse, decided that she was evacuating on Friday at 11:30 am. Anna and I pulled all the day shifts until she returned late Sunday. But Anna and I did well. We didn't break Mom and Dad. Liz did the nights and things are back to normal. Sara really did freak out though. She told us she would be to work all the days and then on Fri, she was supposed to work Fri, Sat and Sun 7am to 7pm. She gave Mom and Dad a bath and just left. She told us she was going to a friends house just a few miles away, and ended up going to Austin. Overall, it was better that she left. She was getting Mom and Dad nervous. Where Anna works, gave them off until Wed. I had to return to work on Monday. It was a busy Monday, so I didn't get this e-mail out to you yesterday. Gary (a co-worker) and I had to save the hospital from a "suspicious" letter which was leaking a brown powder. Turned out a vendor sent out a letter notifying the hospital of a name change in their company, and they sent a package of M&M's as a treat. Well, the M&M's got crushed during transit and the heat melted the chocolate and the bag oozed chocolate out the envelope at the flap and was also dumping the "brown powder." Our Security Dept called Gary and myself along with 3 off duty Houston Police officers (which work here) to look at the envelope. Oh, it is so much fun sometimes in the world of Hospital Safety! But all is good here at the hospital. We didn't get any wind damage at all. Not much else happening here. Since Anna is off today, I have her taking M&D to see Dr. D for their monthly doctor visit and to get their regular blood work done. Love and hugs, Mary
Hi All, With a sad heart, I have to tell you that Aunt Jay passed away this afternoon about 4:30 Houston time. She was not in pain and went peacefully. We really feel that we did the right thing by moving her to TX. Her condition was deteriating in FL and we knew she would get good care and attention in TX. Looks like we should have taken her there sooner - for she was very fragile and the infection got the best of her. (My computer is stilldriving me crazy, so forgive the way my spacing and paragraphing is. )
We are plannning a small sevice in Houston on Saturday. Mary and Anna will talk to the funeral home tomorrow. Anna said that Daddy took the news really hard. She is staying there overnight in case he needs her. They said Mom looked very sad. It is hard to know what she thinks.We are asking that if you have any memorable stories that you would like to share about Aunt Jay, to e-mail them to me. We could share them at the service.
Mary probably will not go to work this week and she does all her e-mailing at work usually. I plan to go be there on Wednesday. I made my reservations through Priceline, so I am stuck with their schedule, but at least I saved a good bit flying with such little notice, They accepted my first bid which I thought was fair, but then I was like - I should have bid lower.
Oh well. At times like this - sometimes people wonder what to do for the family. We don't need anything. If you feel that you would like to make a charitable contribution, I would suggest her church in FL. She always sent them money each month even though she was not able to attend services there anymore. That would be my only suggestion. It certainly isn't necessary, for Jay was a lady who didn't need or ask for much in her last years. She always would say she was doing OK - even when she didn't feel well at all.
She was a special lady - I used to love to go and visit her as a kid in PA and as an adult when she lived in Wisconsin and FL.She and Uncle Erv were the host and hostess with the mostest. I am happy that I was able see her as often as I did throughout my life. So, anyway pray for her soul.
Oh yeah, I guess if you didn't know Aunt Jays last name - it is Wesela. Well, thanks to all of you for your payers.
Love, Joan
Hey to all,
Just wanted to give you an Aunt Jay update. Sorry Tom and Mary, I forgot to give you the update on Wed.
On Wed (Aug 3rd), they took Jay to the cath lab for her test (finally)! Got great news. She doesn't have any issues with her heart!! She does have a little blockage in some of her arteries, but not anything we have to worry about. One has about 60-70% blockage, another one has 40-50% and the last one is 90%. The one with 90% is a small insignifant artery according to the cardiologist. He said that even if she was 30 years old, he wouldn't do anything to that one. So nothing needs to be done with the heart. The cardiologist also did the legs and found three spots in her right (the bad one) leg that needed angioplasty. The left leg was ok and didn't need anything done to that one.
After the angioplasty they moved her to a different unit, 10th floor in Dunn building (she was on 11 in Fonderen). She is still there this am.
The doctors have decided to move her to a L-TAC unit (I think it stands for Long Term Acute Care Unit). They suggested 2 here in the med center, but Anna and I decided to bring her to one near the house. It was the same as one of them in the med center. So she will be taken by ambulance (today I think) to the new LTAC.
It seemed ok to both of us last night. I did look at the ones in the med center and they were ok, but they would have to get her all new doctors, because none of her current ones worked there. So Anna and I thought that we want her to keep with Dr. D and she does that LTAC. Dr. D also suggested that we take her there for her wound care before she got put into the hospital. So that is the main reason we made that decision.
I went to see her this am and I of course had to get the nurses straightend out. They weren't giving the pain meds like she needs them and they had her bad ankle on the bed and they didn't have pink ankle protectors on her. So I got the nurse "on board" with what Jay needs and got Jay situated. I will have to do it at the new hospital when she gets there. I had finally got the staff on 11 trained, so since she got moved to 11, I had to do it again.
I spoke with a lady at the Med Center who does the discarge planning etc and told her where we wanted to take Jay and she said she has sent a few patients there, and hasn't heard anything negative about them. Frank the PA for the cardiologist, said that he thought it was a good choice and to have Dr. D. was great. So I feel pretty good about the choice.
Now today, they are giving her another unit of blood. Her haemoglobin was in around 7 today, Frank thinks she is bleeding in the GI tract (ulcers in the stomach) because of the anticoagulants they are giving her. He said it was a slow bleed and that maybe they needed to adjust the anticoagulant (it's not coumadin, and I can't remember the name). He also said that they would up the ulcer medication to 2 times a day instead of once. Oh, and inquiring minds wanted to know her blood type, B pos, just like dad.
I decided to take her "personal" items home with me and manually transfer them to the LTAC. I found the other slipper today and didn't want them to loose her glasses. So I have her clothes, sweater, slippers, glasses, Aunt Rita's card, and the plant (from Jo and Dolores). The other stuff can get lost or not taken, it is all hospital supplies and they can get more at the LTAC.
I will continue to keep y'all up to date when I know something new.
Oh, and Mary Liz, if you need someplace to recover from your sugery, we have a spare room at the "Dombrowski Manor"!!
Love and hugs to all, Mary
8/1/05 7:48am
On Sunday, the 17th, at the hospital, they did the NG tube thing to her and gave her the GoLitely (1 gal), Jo,was at the room until about 3:30pm and they started to give her the stuff, well we girls went back at 6pm and she was sitting in poo! Literally, up to her boobs! Ya know the way the bed bends, well, the poo was about 1 inch deep in the bend. It was nasty.
Her IV was right there by the poo. I think that is where she got the infection. They moved her to another hospital in the Medical Center 2 days later and she started running a fever by Thurs. (I think). So the staff at the Med Center finally did some blood cultures (that was Monday, I think) as a guess to see what was causing the fever and low and behold, she has an e.coli infection.
So, an infectious disease MD was consulted. They have to clear her before they can do the cath. Since they know for sure they want to put in at least one stint, they have to wait. They said, if the blood has bacterial contamination, the stint will become infected and not do her any good. So we are in a holding pattern.
She is looking much better and not in so much pain. I believe she is on at least 2 antibiotics (IV) and that is making her feel better. I think it is also helping the ulcer in her foot. She isn't complaining near as much as she was about the pain. Either that or they are giving the pain meds on time, but I really think that maybe it is starting to heal.
They have her on 5 mg of Tapazole for her thyroid and I have never seen the endocrinologist. They have also put her on insulin. That seems to keep her diabetes in better control than taking the pills. They are giving it 2 times a day now. I really want to know what they are planning to do about the thyroid and the goiter.
Anna and Jo went to see her Saturday and she was very talkative and Joan called Aunt Rita and they (Rita and Jay) talked some. Yesterday, she was pretty sleepy. She woke up a few times and spoke to Anna and me, but then she kinda mumbled for us to leave. So we did. The nurse didn't have much to say to us, not too many MD's were there over the weekend, and she said that Jay wasn't on the schedule for the Cath on Monday. The nurse said the MD's were saying sometime this week. They said that last week too, then we found the blood infection.
Mom and Dad are pretty good. They had a pretty calm weekend. Jo took them and Liz and Aaron to see Matagasgar on Fri and she said it was a waste of money for M&D. They really didn't watch the movie at all. Oh well, at least they got out of the house for a few minutes and it wasn't to see a doctor.
It was very sad to see Jo leave. She was like a fixture in the house. It was pretty quiet without her. She really was a HUGE help to us this past month. Don't know what we would of done without her. Well, we will find out this week. It was great that she was here when Jay was in the hospital. I also had a bunch of doctors stuff for her to do while she was here.
With all the company coming and going, our dog Harley (the deaf one) was having issues. She seemed to be a little better last night. If she isn't better by the end of the week, I will get her to the vet. She has Obsessive/Compulsive disease and she behaves strangely. She will walk around in circles and bark at nothing all day. So we noticed that she does better if you give her a bone and then she will keep that in her mouth and settle down some. By the end of yesterday, she was not needing the bone so much and was laying in bed with Jerry and I and resting.
Well, that's about it for this am. I will go see Jay soon and if there is anything else, I will let you know.
Love and hugs, Mary
The other issue is that her hemoglobin went from 10 to 8 from Sunday to Tues. They have given her 2 pints of blood. The GI dr. wants to see if she is bleeding in her GI track. So they tried to do a bowel prep for a colonoscopy and she wouldn't drink the GoLitely (it's a gallon of the liquid), but they did give her the laxatives. They also took a scope down her throat today and found 2 ulcers and a hernia in her stomach and throat. The GI dr. said that we can't do the colonoscopy unless she gets the golitely and we would have to force her (tube up the nose into the stomach). We haven't made that decision yet. I am not sure that if we found any cancer if we would put her through treatment. Joan and I are going to ask her what she wants to do. The cardiologists gave the go-ahead for the GI workup to see about the bleeding before they do anything to check on the heart. They may do a catherization to see where the blockage is and how much it is blocked. Haven't heard from them. The main Dr. (D) said that they found a 6-7cm size growth on/near her thyroid which is pressing on her throat causing her not to want to eat/swallow. Still waiting on info on that and what they are going to do for her about the growth. The other thing is that damned old ulcer on her right foot. There are a few issues with that. 1). decreased circulation getting to her foot. It may be just from poor circulation in general caused by the blockages in the heart or it may just be vascular disease of the leg. It seems the blockage is in the calf area. 2). She is not eating/drinking which isn't getting her immune system pumped up to fight the infection of the foot. So they feel there are a couple of factors affecting her foot.
The foot dr. thinks that they may be able to put a stint in her leg artery to open up the calf artery, but of course it has to be in conjunction with the cardiologist and the new vascular surgeon (yet to be named). Of course the biggest issue with this is that the leg/foot is causing her alot of pain. To her, this is the biggest issue and she is not really feeling that there is anything else wrong with her. Will keep you posted on the progress. Love to all, Mary
So, nursing issues were resolved, Mom is great, Dad is great, and Aunt Jay is not really eating or drinking anything! Yes, she isn't really eating. Aunt Jay, also came to us with an ulcer on her right ankle (the right side of the ankle) and it causes her alot of pain. She is on a bunch of pain pills which depress her desire to eat and it also gives her a bit of nausia. She also tries to eat, gets it just about swallowed, then she spits out the food/drink like it won't go down.
We had to change her medical insurance from Humana HMO to Medicare because Texas doesn't accept the Humana HMO. So we had to wait till July 1 for the Medicare to become active. But I did take her to Dr. D the Monday after she got here, just to get her aquainted with Dr. D and to get her prescriptions going. Then her leg was giving her so much pain we went to see Dad's foot specialist. She got us on the correct track with her ulcer. I took Jay back to Dr. D on 7/6 to ramp up her care. She ordered a bunch of lab work to see where she is. Then she really stopped eating.
So on Sat night(7/9/05) she was compaining of sharp pains in her stomach. We ramped up to take her to the ER. I went ahead to see how full the ER was (since we just had the long wait) and we would have about a hour wait. We got over to pick Jay up and Nancy (had a shift change) said no, lets wait to take her because she was ok at that time (7pm Saturday). So Sunday, we decided to just take her in. She still wasn't eating or drinking and she was getting dehydrated. There wasn't a wait to get to a room and the entire process only took 5 hours (instead of 11).
In the ER, they did an EKG and found some abnormalities that they didn't like, so they didn't start her on any IV fluids. The cardiologist is trying to find out if she is having some new issues or did she just have an abnormal EKG. The GI dr. can't do any invasive testing until the EKG issue is resolved, so he did some CatScan's of her GI track. Dr. D ordered a CT of her brain to look for a new stroke to see if that was why she has the swallowing issue. That came back ok. No new stroke, just the old one.
Dr. D said they did a chest x-ray in the ER and the radiologist thinks she may have a growth on her thyroid which may be pressing up against her throat making it hard to swallow. So as of today, I still don't know exactly what is wrong. Dr. D says we have a lot of catching up to do and will have to call in a few specialists, cardiologist, GI, Renal (something about her blood pressure being low and affecting her kidneys) and of course the foot Dr. She will have a busy day to day. They are going to do a cardiac stress test and then a swallowing test and maybe the GI down the throat with a camera test today. I will let everyone know how things are progressing as we hear. But she is on pain meds there at the hospital, so her foot isn't hurting so much and she is resting comfortably. Gotta run,
Hey Everyone,
Gosh it has been so busy this past month, I haven't had a chance to get y'all caught up. It started just after my last e-mail to you. Aunt Jay came. That went pretty well, her coming and all. Just as soon as we got Aunt Jay settled, we had to take Mom to the ER.
On a Tuesday, Liz told me that she had a spot of blood in her Depends. She told the home health nurse, Sonia, and she said that sometimes older may "spot" and to let her know if it occurred again. Then on Wed, Liz called (I was at WalMart picking up a few groceries with Anna) and she had more blood. I told her we would be home in a few minutes. We got there and Liz didn't change the Depends yet and all of a sudden she had a lot of blood oozing out. We didn't know if it was vaginal blood or blood in her urine. We called the doctor and she said to take her to the ER. So, at 4pm on a Wed, we got to the local ER. We sat in the waiting room for 3.5 hours before she got back into a room (the ER was packed to say the least). Then it took about 3 more hours till they decided that she had blood in her urine and she had a bladder infection. So at 12:15am on Thursday, she got to a room. Anna and I got back home about 1 to 1:30am that night.
They put Mom on some heavy duty antibiotics and boy did she perk up! She looked 1000% better within 24 hours. I had a appointment set up for her with the GI doctor to get her feeding tube evaluated the next day. So I had to cancel that appt. and told the dr. that she was in the hospital and could he try to see her there. Dr. D and the GI dr. decided to totally remove the feeding tube!!!!! YEA!! We have tried to get this done for about a year, but they wouldn't do it. The tube had turned totally black and it just looked so yucky! So low and behold they took out the feeding tube and sent Mom home that Saturday (July 1). She is doing so well.
During this time, we also had another crisis. Liz decided that we weren't paying her enought and decided to quit and put in a weeks notice. So during this hospital stay we were interviewing nursing staff to fill her spot. After a very intensive week of emotional ups and downs, Liz decided she wanted to stay with us. However, I had found a replacement. A male nurse! He sounded great, Anna and I just felt he would be great with all the folks, was willing to do the work and drive from the Hobby airport area, and he sounded very good. So I told him he had the job, pending his references.
Well, had a problem there. None of his references came back favorable. So, we were in a quandry, did we hire someone who had bad references, but looked and sounded good (well really, no) or did we keep Liz and put of with all her fussing about pay. So a very lovely lady here at work gave me some great advice. She said we had to look at how Liz took care of the folks, did they like her, was she dependable? She also had been in our position, taking care of her Mom, and she said you don't have to like the nurse, the important thing is the quality of care. The answer to all those were yes. She has what we are calling "premadonna" issues where she wants to be the top dog, so to speak, and make more money then the rest of the ladies. We just can't pay any more then we are paying the ladies. There just isn't enough money to do that. So we decided to keep Liz, but we set some guidelines, with one being that she committed to stay working with us for at least 3 months.
Mary
The doctor put him on a second antibiotic and had some blood work and x-rays done. Dad got to feel a bit better and we went back to see the doctor on that friday. She said he now has pneumonia in both lungs. So he was put on bed rest and no activities at all. He was not permitted to sit in the garage (in the heat). He did real well and his lungs are now pretty clear. He just finished the last of the antibiotics, yesterday, and he is back to his old normal self. The doctor felt that we caught the pneumonia very, very early and we saved him from being admitted to the hospital. He doesn't do well in the hospital at all, so that was good. Mom is ok, but is having some stomach issues again. She is gassy and is having some dirreaha. The nurse came by late yesterday and looked at her and gave some hints for us until the doctor gets back with her. Mostly, keep her liquified up (she was getting a little dehydrated) with some pedialite. She also said she had some crackling in her lungs, which may just be that she isn't breathing deeply enough to keep the lungs clear. She isn't running any fever or have any other symptoms at this time. We haven't heard back from the doctor yet, but it could just be that she needs some imodium. Our other big news is that we are getting a new border on Saturday! Aunt Jay has finally agreed to come and stay with us. She is Dad's younger sister. She has been having some health issues and there really isn't anyone checking on her daily.
The assisted living place, where she lives doesn't give comprensive nursing services there, they really are only there to help with basic needs like medication assistance, bathing, bathroom help etc. Aunt Jay has gotten a few very bad UTI's. One was so bad that they thought she had a stroke because she was slurring her words, couldn't swallow etc. They took her to the emergency room for treatment and found the UTI and no stroke, YEA!
She was also getting rashes around her privates. Usually that means she is sitting in soiled depends and not being changed enough. Her leg also has issues and with her being a diabetic that can be bad. So anyway, Aunt Jay has agreed to come live with Mom and Dad! We really thought it was going to be hard to get her to come, but she was ready. For all of you who don't know Aunt Jay, she is 1 month older than Mom and she had a mild left side stroke in the late 90's. She can speak and has less dementia than Dad. She is using a wheelchair now, but maybe we can get some therapy and get her moving some. I haven't seen her since we moved Mom and Dad, but Joan (who has been an angel and taking care of her from Atlanta) says she can put weight on her good foot to help pivot to move her. So Anna, Kelley, Jerry and I have been getting a room ready for her. Anna has decided that she would get more rest by moving out to our house. So she and Tiger are back in the garage and we have a place for the nurses kids (sometimes the kids have to spend the night at the house if their babysitter craps out on them) to sleep in needed.
The room that Jay will have was Anna's spare room and had mostly books in it. We got a storage unit and move most of the books there and made a library out of the storage unit. It has AC so she could go over there and work if she needed to access the books. Joan is in charge of getting Jay to Houston and all that stuff. Joan went down to take Jay back to see her doctor (in early June) and cleared out her room and sent us 4 boxes of her stuff. Jay has another doctor's appt on this Friday at 2 (in FLA) and Joan will get her medical record and medication prescriptions. Then she and Jo will hop a plane in Orlando Sat and arrive around 2pm here in Houston.
We are way excited to get her here. I think she will do so much better. Joan has been checking on her every few months and taking her to see the doctor when she is there. It is pretty tough to do that long distance. What Jo would do, is fly out to Houston and then to Orlando on the way back to check on Jay. I have her set up to see Mom and Dad's doctor on Monday so we can get her started on Home Health, PT and get her leg looked at. So we have been pretty busy with Dad and Jay this past month. I will let everyone know how it goes with the Jay move and Mom's doctor appt. Love and hugs to all, Mary et.al
Hi, WoW you all work fast. Two weeks ago is you were search to get something done and you went from "git-r-done" to "got-r-did" (KNOCK ON WOOD)in no time.
It sounds like things really changed in less then two weeks. AGAIN, WOW.
If it would help I could come down to FL and do a U-haul run to TX that week end. If Joan or perhaps Robbie could help me load up on Saturday morning I could get to TX by Sunday morning. (Based on our last trip it was about 15 hours of wheels turning). Anyway, if that would help the cause I'd be willing.
Again, I am stunned with how fast it all came together. A big pat on the back to all!!!
Love, the yankees.
Hi! Great news! Joan has been talking to Jay on the phone, and she says Jay is very eager to move. I made reservations for Jay and Joan to fly first class) from Orlando to Houston on Saturday June 18th.
First class wasn't much more expensive. With all my frequent flyer miles, last year when we were flying back and forth to Orlando, I would buy an economy class ticket, but when I'd arrive for the flight, I would always have an upgrade to first class. It's not all that different from economy, but the seats are wider and more comfortable, and there is more leg-room, which should make it easier to get Jay in and out of the seat. This is such a relief! Joan is going down next week and will take some suitcases so they can begin to plan moving Jay's clothing and other small items. If she wants to bring her chair, we can arrange to have that shipped. I think Kelley has done that for one of her elderly relatives previously.
On Saturday Mary, Kelley and I are going to start "attacking" my garage. We need room there to begin next "attacking" the spare bedroom that will be Jay's. For those of you who have been to my house, it will not be the one I'm presently using, but the first one at the "L"-shaped turn in the hallway to go to my room and M&D's. That way there will be easy wheelchair access from the living room with no turns, whereas in my present room, there would be 2 right-angle turns to get the wheelchair into that room.
I'll take my twin bed to Mary and Jerry's garage bedroom (with Tiger's bed). We will move the double bed presently in the garage bedroom into the room I'm resently sleeping in. That way there will be a place for Liz's 3 kids (a 4 yr old + 2 yr old twins) and Sara's 11 yr old to sleep over. Both Sara and Liz were relieved to hear about that, so they don't have to scramble if a babysitter cancels at the last moment.
Well, take care. Lots of love and hugs, Anna
Hi, Jay's got most of her mental facilities intact, so I think we can get the message across to her. I think she will respond to logic, where Daddy just doesn't seem capable any more. Daddy is the instigator of the scenes I've witnessed. I've adopted a no tolerance policy of his trash talk, and he doesn't even try to talk like that to me much anymore (very occasionally he will, but it is usually when Mary is present). When he does, something ignoring him works (no reaction, no response).
Alternatively, I either immediately change the subject by asking him a totally unrelated question, which engages his mind, or else I just tell him I won't talk about whatever it is. What I witnessed when they were still in FL was that Dad would make outrageous statements about Erv, like Erv was stealing money from the H of B's in the order of $25,000 and up from there.
Then Jay would rise to the bait and defend Jay. He also has tried to talk to me about Jay having been a "loose" woman, etc., in her younger days. If he says that to her face, she'll defend herself I'm sure. We'll just have to tell the staff to not tolerate it from Dad and separate them if it escalates. The meeting with Lynda was very productive and gave us some alternatives to pursue, especially with staffing. I don't have time to write about it now, but in a nutshell, she thinks a total of $6000 from M&D and Jay is quite sufficient to pay for 24/7 staffing, although it may not be with our present staff. She is going to call around today and tomorrow and talk to her contacts who provide staffing for other at home situations. More later, XOXOXO Anna
Well, we may have to tell her not to tell him, but I wouldn't cancel the move for that. Have been doing my worst job - textbook duty all day. Barely had time to eat. Anyway, have done nothing on my Aunt Jay chores, and I probably may not get to them until school is out.
Love y'all. JO
Wow, this is happening pretty fast! One thing crossed my mind, it's silly really, but I will bring it up before I forget. If Jay tells your Dad that their house is sold, this could cause a real problem for him. I know that he pesters Jay sometimes, and actually, when they get going, she gives as good as she gets. I would just hate it if she threw that in his face during a fit of annoyance. Any ideas about that?
Gotta go
M
Hi, I added Tom, Mary Liz and Kelley as idea people for this. To fill you in, last night Aunt Rita talked to Jay and Jay agreed to move to Texas. One other possibility, I told my boss I wanted to take some vacation in July while JO was here. Perhaps she and I co uld drive to FLA to move Jays furniture here at that time. I would bring things like her dresser, desk, chair, headboard (?) here so she has some of her familiar things in her room here.
I'd be moving some of my dressers to Mary and Jerry's garage bedroom anyway. I'd like to continue to sleep in a twin bed there so as to have more space in that room for a couple dressers and for Tiger's bed. We're pretty cramped with his bed and that double bed in there now. Maybe we could fly Rita to FLA to assist with moving Jay either by air or in a RV. Rita would probably be invaluable in keeping Jay calm and a happy traveler.
Love and hugs, Anna
Need a copy of her medical cart from the Center and doctor. Can Robbie and Marion keep her furniture (TV,chair, extra clothes we can't get on the plane) for us until we can get it moved to TX? Or if you drove down to Jay's, and kept your Explorer at their houseor Dotty and Frank's when you fly her here, then you could bring her stuff up to ATL and keep it there till you get a chance to move it.
You can give the bed and dressers away we would have plenty of beds and dressers for her here. In fact, I want to get the ajustable bed for her out of the storage unit here for her to use. I think she would like it alot.
Would you want one of our nurses to meet you in FLto help with her on the way here (if flying) or either Anna and I cou ld do that too? We could help if you needed non-nursing type help for the trip.
That's all I can think of for now. I will send out more if I think of anything else. Anna, anything else to add? M
5/12/05 4:44pm
Hi Sibs,
Good to hear from you Mary (PA). Glad you enjoyed the necklace Mary (Hou) made for you. She does such lovely work.
Mom really loved the lilies Mary and Tom sent. They came Saturday afternoon. They were still in bud but some opened the next day, and they continue to gradually open, so she will enjoy them for quite a while. They are a very lovely pink to pinkish-lavender color. Her face really lit up when she saw them, and then lit up again when I told her they were from you. She reached out and touched a bud very gently with this look of wonder on her face. I know she understood you talking with her on the phone. She likes that very much.
I am firmly convinced that she understands what is going on around her, and she reacts appropriately. I got a raise and a bonus recently. When I told her, she looked at me, raised her eyebrows, pursed her lips while smiling, and nodded to me, as if she were saying "Oh how nice! I'm impressed! Well done!"
She also knows that Mary will come to visit every day around 4pm. When it gets past 4 and Mary is not there she gets restless and looks at the clock repeatedly until Liz tells her what's holding up Mary and that she will be around. Then her agitation goes away. When Mary was sick and couldn't visit recently, Mom didn't get agitated and she seemed to understand why Mary couldn't come visit. The other evening I came home around 8:30 (the ONLY time I've come home late since I got back from Malaysia), and M&D were still up so I went into their bedroom to say hello. Well, Tiger started howling and prancing outside their doorway and Mom very suddenly turned her head to the door and broke into a really big smile. She then immediately turned to me and looked right at me still smiling broadly. I said Tiger wanted to go for a walk, and she gave a very tiny nod of her head, and waved me out.
Dad on the other hand wonders who Mary and I are from time to time.
He had a few days lately when he was acutely aware they were not in Florida and he thanked me each day for letting he and Eleanore stay with me. Then one day he got kind of teary-eyed and asked if I could help him get Mom back to Florida. I told him that she was too sick to go back right now, but when she was well I would be glad to drive them there. He just nodded and then said thank you again and walked back to the bedroom (with Liz). Nancy used to get upset when he would insist that this wasn't his home, and he wanted to go home with Mom to Florida, until I explained that I've been telling him I would gladly drive them when Mom was better. Apparently now she are using that logic with him when he gets upset about not being in Florida.
And then there are the days when he smiles broadly and tells me how great it is that Mary comes to Florida to visit them every day. I guess I must be living in Florida too. And The Big Dog is NOT HIS dog!!!!
Oh, hey, M&T, in addition to thanking you for the book by the autistic lady Temple Grandin on understanding animals, thanks for the Renaissance CD! I found it in the book the day after I wrote you that other note of thanks! The book brought to my conciousness that I've been doing a very Aspie-type thing all my life. (JO and Mary Hou - this is the lady that come up with the way to calm down cattle in a slaughter house was to put them in a slot where they had gentle pressure on each side. This then was applied to autistic and Aspie kids by wrapping them tightly in a blanket and holding them close.) I've always prefered to sleep with a pillow parallel to my body with my head on one end and then the rest against my chest. I used to love that Maggie used to sleep back-to-back with me, and I've missed that greatly since she passed. Now that I'm back in a twin with the side pressed up against the wall, I started putting a pillow there so that I get the gentle pressure like Maggie used to provide. Well, that's the same thing as wrapping an autistic-Aspie kid in a blanket!
Ah, the Aspie within! I understand some of my own behavior much better since learning about Aspies. Oh, my lady friend from Holland, Leigh, wrote me recently that her son with the problems has been diagnosed as an Aspie also, although in my opinion he is a much milder case than Matt. It makes sense when I think about her now ex-husband Joel. I can see him as an adult Aspie, although not nearly to the degree of my friend Steve, who by the way was in Italy on vacation with his wife recently. He sent me a postcard of Pompeii!
Well, I'm going home now. Take care and lots of love and hugs, Anna
5/12/05 9:00am Good Day to Everyone, It has been about a month since my last update, so I thought I better get on the stick and get something out to all of you wonderful folks. All is good here in TX. It is starting to get the temperature increase going. We have already had some days in the high 80's. This kind of concerns Liz. Dad LOVES to sit out in the garage, but then he starts to sweat, so Liz thinks it's time to go in the house, but Dad wants to stay in the garage. Dad usually wins. Anna's house has some neighbors who are very active outside. There are a bunch of kids that play within his sights and they are playing all types of ball (in the street of course), riding bikes, riding skate boards etc and Dad just finds them fascinating. The neighbors next to them (which is one house closer to Anna's) have a few small kids (under the age of 5 I would guess) and their mom does alot of yard work with the kids outside. One day the mom dug a pretty good size hole (to plant a tree) and dad watched every move she made and it kept him busy all day long. Liz takes Mom out to the garage too, but she doesn't stay as long as Dad. She gets tired quicker, but she does get fresh air. Liz also takes them for walks (one at a time) down the street a few blocks. Just a block away is what we call the "rich neighborhood." The houses start at about $250K and go up to $800K. They are all built around man made lakes. The lakes have fountains, little boats, docks, and lots of ducks. There is a rather large shaded dock that Liz takes them to so they can sit and watch the ducks.
The ducks come up to them and want food (but they don't feed them), so they are pretty entertaining. Now I have never seen this duck but Anna calls it the Jewish Tuxedo Duck. It looks like he is wearing a tux and has a big black spot on his white head right were a yamaka (SP?) would sit on a Jewish man. Liz has seen the duck and is very excited when she sees him now. If Dad is doing well, she can take both of them to see the ducks. They are both doing rather well in the health arena. I take them to see their family doctor about once a month or every 6 weeks. One time she tried to have us come every 3 months, but that doesn't seem to work. It is like she has to lay hands on them monthly and they do well. So far (knock on wood), the last time any of them has been in the hospital was in Nov with Mom. So YEA!!! We are having a bit of a time with getting their coumadin level adjusted properly. Mom keeps getting these big bruises and then she will seep a little blood around her g-tube. So we call the MD, and they hold the coumadin then it gets low, so we ramp it back up, then it gets to high, so we lower it. We have been having issues with this for about two months, then we were at the MD's last week and she asked if Mom was on aspirin too. I said yea, 81 mg/day.
She got this "the light bulb turned on look" and she said that's our problem. So we are to hold the aspirin for 2 weeks, then start it back up. I think I am going to try on Mom to give it every other day instead of daily. If I remember correctly, aspirin effects the platelets and it goes for 3 days. So if I do every other day, there should be enough for the anti-clotting, but not too much to make her bruise and ooze a bit a blood. Other than the coumadin level, they look pretty good. The MD does blood work about every 3-4 months just to keep up with all their levels, so they are due up in June. Dad seems to be improving slowly. He is getting stronger and the hormone shots may finally be wearing off. He is still having the sweating, but it seems to be getting less often.
We changed the Home Heath service and this service is doing just wonderful. There is an older man that is the PT guy and he and Dad really connect. I think that is really helping Dad do the PT. He sometimes overworks Mom and then we have to wait a bit , but he is getting the hang of her endurance level. She just can't do it a often/long as Dad can. Anna and I are doing fine. I have had a really bad cold that has lasted for about 2 weeks, so I haven't been spending much time at the house. I don't want to infect them. I am finally starting to feel better. YEA! It fells like I have had this cold forever. When I am sick like that, I just rush in to do what I need to do, and rush back out. It takes me about an hour to do "THE PILLS" so I usually do them in the bedroom with Mom. She likes to watch me do that. I think that she is making sure that I do the right. So when I was sick, I would do them in the living room and not spend any time in the bedroom. Anna was gone for 2 very long weeks in April. She had to go to Malaysia for work. She got back a few days before I got sick so she was able to pick up my slack and run the errands for me and make sure they were doing well. I guess that is about all for now. I better get back to work. Love and hugs to all of you, from all of us here in Texas. Mary
What really happened was the tech saw Mom in the wheelchair and thought that this is going to be a hard patient to do and wanted the dr. to cancel the order, so she wouldn't have to do the test. So it got done, but I don't know the results yet. Will let you know if there is anything serious. The bone scan went well and that lady even gave Joan some bone scan results to have for "the file." I have never what the results of one looks like, but we have a copy. I am sure the dr. will let me know what it shows. Anna headed out yesterday to Kuala Lumpur in Maylasia and will be there for about 2 weeks. Of course, this is totally work related. So I am "in charge" and Anna's dog, Tiger, came to say with us. Even though I am there daily, it is much easier to keep him fed etc at my house. Well, that's about all for now. Love and hugs to all, Mary
I got back home and the folks were the same, who would of guessed. Mom still doesn't talk or walk and Dad is still the same. So my Catholicism is still intact. But on the serious side, the ladies took M&D to this revival not once, but twice!! One time they didn't get home till 11:30pm!!! Anna was really getting worried about them, but figured, there wasn't a police officer showing up at the door.
Dad was amazed that he went somewhere where there was this big guy preaching on a huge TV screen. He was telling everyone about the big man. He didn't mention anything else about it. I told Mom, I had no idea they would take them twice, and I had no clue that they would stay out that late. She just gave a stern look, I did apoligize to her and said I wouldn't let them take then out that late again, and she smiled at me. Now yesterday, I was a bit late getting over to see them, I had to take the kitten to the vet so they could look at her incision. Well, she has been licking on it, so now she is on antibiotics and has to wear an elizabethen collar. She hates it alot!!! Anyway, I was sitting in their bedroom doing the pills, and Liz told me that Mom was waiting for me to come. I asked her how she knew that and she said that at 4pm Mom looked at the clock in the room, then to the door. She was getting a bit agitated. Liz told her at about 4:15, that I had to take the kitten to the vet, and would be late. Mom calmed down then and was ok till I got there about 4:30. I think this is wonderful! She is aware of the time of day, has picked up my schedule, and wants to see me, eventhough sometimes I get the "hand" as soon as I get there. I guess I have made an unofficial schedule and need to keep it!! Tomorrow, Friday, I am letting Liz take the van and she is having an outting with them to the Livestock Show. She is going to bring her hubby and kids too. I told her that there is alot to do and see there. I suggested they leave at 10 or so in the morning, and could do lunch there. I am going to tell her that she needs to be back at the house by 5pm. They don't need to get caught up in all that traffic.
For those of you who don't know about the rodeo/livestock show, here is a blurb from their website which tells about where M&D et al are/can do. there is much more to see and do. Kids and adults of all ages enjoy the famous pig races; pony rides; petting zoos; agricultural exhibits, such as a bee exhibit, milking parlor, egg hatching station, and more; acres of cattle, sheep, goats, rabbits, llamas, pigs and other livestock; cowboy church; and more. For those who prefer a wild ride, nothing thrills more than the carnival. I will let everyone know what happens there. They get to have all the fun while we have to work. Love and hugs to everyone, Mary
Morning All,
Mom got her new wheel chair yesterday! Yea! We have been waiting with bated breath for it to come. We have been paying for a rental chair for a year. Mom's chair is red, infact, it is called tangerine red. I guess it has a few specks of orange in it. Medicare and Blue Cross paid for the entire chair and the extra special parts that Mom needs. The cost was $4500.00! Who would have guessed.
All is good here in TX. Got a little cold front and that is keeping the folks indoors. It was a comfortable 75 degrees plus earlier, which allowed them to get out in the fresh air.
Love to all,
Hi Everyone,Here's an update on Daddy's fall yesterday morning also. No harm done, except slight bump on head (no swelling, no bruise), and a bruised ego. Afterwards he walked with no pain for the rest of the day, so apparently no harm done to his bones anywhere.
So what happened was at 7:40 Liz started to make breakfast (she likes to make breakfast while they are still asleep and then wake them up). I looked in on M&D, both appeared to be asleep, so I went out for I swear 6-7 minutes max to the nearby ATM machine. When I came back and went to my room I heard Mom doing her alert cry. She had thrown off her covers and had gotten her good leg partway off the bed, and she was straining to pull herself over to the left sidebar. When she saw me she pointed to the bathroom.
Of course, Dad's bed was empty and his legs were sticking out of the toilet room. He'd apparently fallen trying to turn himself around to sit down when he lost balance. His pants, etc. were still up. He fell with his back against a soft plastic waste basket about 24" high, which apparently broke his fall. It took both Liz and me to get him up.
Later he seemed chagrined about falling. I told him it was really good that he knew he needed to use the toilet, but he was not strong enough to get there by himself. He nodded, but who knows if he'll remember the next time. Liz immediately turned on the baby monitor in the kitchen. I'd been wondering why none of the ladies have been using it lately. I guess they were getting complacent (?). I just worry that Mom will someday actually succeed in getting out of bed and hurting herself when Dad is being "bad".
In my experience Mom trying to get herself out of bed to help him is very typical. It wouldn't suprise me if they both broke hips at the same time.
Meanwhile, Mary Liz and Tom, Saturday afternoon and evening Mary here progressively broke out with what looked something like reddish goosebumps or heat rash from head to toe, but it was non-itchy, not hurty, no fever, and not big ugly welts like hives. I used the ATM money to pay Jerry's Dad Kenneth, his brother Donnie, and a friend of theirs Marco to re-do my flower beds, wack hedges, plant stuff, etc. The yard looks really nice. Jerry worked too and I gave him a check for "plumbing" so he could use it for his business.
12/22/04 7:47am Happy Holiday's Y'all. December 2004 Last year I told you of the news concerning Mom and her stroke, this year things are very different in Houston. In February 2004, Groundhog's day, to be exact, Mom had a second stroke. She really had not progressed to far when that stroke happened. It set her back quite a bit. We (Anna, Joan, Tom and myself) made the decision to move them to Houston as soon as Mom was able to travel. So we rented a RV and brought them to TX in March. On the way to FL to pick them up, the nursing service I hired to help out, decided they couldn't take care of them. We had rented an apartment at an assisted living facility about a mile from our homes, and the nurses have offices there. I ended up finding a wonderful lady, Liz, to come and work for us. Liz then found us some additional nurses. We moved them in April to Anna's house (she has a single story home 7 blocks from my house). We had to do some minor renovations to accommodate them and moved the shebang there.
It has been an interesting process, taking care of our parents. We currently have nurses 24/7 and they are wonderful. There sometimes are problems between them, which I never anticipated. One day we had an issue where one nurse claimed the other nurse was a witch and we needed to get rid of her. Then the "witch" nurse said the other one was a witch too! Yes, it is fun being the boss. Two of the three nurses are from Nigeria and have very strong religious beliefs that are a little on the strange side. We got the witch thing worked out and are all working well together.
Both Mom and Dad have been in and out of the hospital since they have been here. Dad got pneumonia and the flu (at the same time) and spent a week in the hospital. After he got home he was weak and fell a few times. Thank God he only broke a few fingers on his left hand and not his hip. Mom had some issues in getting her seizure medications regulated. After the second stroke, she started having them. Then Mom had some stomach issues, but is on the mend. Joan, Tom, Anna and I have divided up some of the parent duties. Joan is in charge of the main money for the folks. Joan and Tom took care of getting their home emptied and moved up to GA. Joan, thank God, took care of selling their home in FL. She got the home sold 1 week before the first hurricane (Charley) hit FL. God we were lucky. The lady that bought the house did have a lot of damage. We aren't sure which hurricane caused the most damage, but they lost all the bushes in the front yard, the naval orange tree, the tree on the side of the drive way (the lady had taken down the one in the island the day before Charley hit), and the roof was gone in many places. She had her car damaged (in the garage) from roof damage. Oh, and if you send M&D a card or letter, don't mention the house. Dad gets too upset talking about the house, so we didn't tell him we sold it.
Anna has opened her home to the folks and to the nursing staff. Her dog, Tiger, was upset when they moved in, because she moved him and her out of the master bedroom and into one of the small bedrooms. Tiger thought (we know this through the pet psychic) she may get rid of him since they moved in. But he is better now and has accepted the folks and the nurses as part of the pack. The nurses forget that Anna lives there too. Sometimes they question why we purchase items, and Anna has to remind them that they are for her, not the folks.
I get the job of getting them back and forth to the doctors, the pills and most of the shopping. I used to love to go shopping, but after you run to the store daily (so it seems), it gets not to be so much fun. I have the most wonderful boss! He so understands the time I need to get them to the doctors. Sometimes I feel like I am hardly at work. I traded in my suburban and got a van and put in a handicap lift. What a wonderful device. It was worth every penny.
On Christmas day last year Joan was down in FL taking care of Dad. Anna, Jerry and myself flew in for the day and we all went to spend the day at DM with Mom. We flew back late that evening and when we got home our cat, Arlene had passed. She was almost 19 years old and had chronic renal failure and was recently diagnosed with bone cancer of her front paw. We were not expecting her to live long, but passing on Christmas wasn't expected. I guess it was a good thing we were gone, because I would have rushed her to the emergency vet. This way she passed in peace. Emily brought home a kitten that she found at an abandoned home on the Halloween weekend, so we call her Trixie. She was about 5 weeks old when we got her. She is a Siamese mix and full of piss and vinegar. She can play all day and all night. Hopefully she will settle down when she gets older. Her new best bud, is Harley, the deaf dog. They wrestle all the time.
The rest of our family is doing well. Aaron is almost 11 years old and is getting very tall. He is as tall as my friend Kelley! Emily has moved in with us. She was laid off her last job and hasn't found one yet, much to Jerry's dismay. We are pushing her to figure out what she want to do with her life or at least get some type of job. Jerry and I are still working hard at out jobs. Jerry loves his job that he started last Dec. On Jerry's side of the family, his folks are doing great and still working hard. Kenneth is still with the construction company, Donnie too, and Doris is still driving the school bus. His Grandmother is the same age as Mom, and Granny gets along very well. She is slowing up some, but still lives alone. Jerry's brother Donnie is good too. He is going to be a granddad in April. Yes, Lisa is preggers. Pretty soon, Donnie and Lisa are going to have the same size bellies! Can't wait to take a picture of that one.
Our family hopes this letter finds all of you healthy and I hope all of you have a wonderful holiday! Love, Mary, Jerry, Emily, Aaron, Lucky, Hoochie, Harley, Trixie and the fish
Happy Holidays to Everyone, I hope all is good for all of you. We are doing fine here. We have been rocking and rolling with Mom and Dad. Today, all is good. Since Mom has come home from the hospital, she has her good days and her bad days. Sometimes she is having some stomach bloating and some diarrhea. One issue is that her GI tube sometimes pops open. The nursing staff at the hospital she was at, lost the closure to the G-Tube and sometimes the clamp pops open. We has put a hair barrette on it to keep it closed. That seems to help the inadvertant air intake. Other times, it is just stuff she eats, gives her gas. On the 10th of Dec, one of our nurses, Sara, broke her ankle. She was not working for us at the time and was walking in high heels and she fell. She ended up breaking her ankle. She was off and started working nights with Scarlet. On this past friday, she called Anna, and said she didn't feel well at all, and wasn't sure if she was going to make it in to work on Sat. (the 18th). Denise has something in her mouth, that her daughter caught from her, and she couldn't come in either. So our wonderful, Anna, stepped up to the plate, or bed I should say, and did the nursing care for both Sat and Sun. She did a great job. I was told by Liz on Friday afternoon, that we needed dinners for Dad. He didn't like the ones that were left. So I went and did all the household shopping and got stuff to make the dinners. Our dog, Lucky was yelping when you touched him, so I had to take him to the vet too on Sat. So on Sunday, I spent cooking for M&D and then I delivered the food and did dinner duty with Anna until the Nancy got there for the night shift. Dad was being a little fussy for Anna and didn't want to sit at the table for dinner, so I kept him company and helped him eat while he sat on the couch. Joan is coming here on Wed for the holidays, and Tom, Mary, Andy and Matt are arriving on Friday. So the whole family will be together. That is so great! We haven't had the whole family there since 1997 for christmas (as far as I can remember). We have gotten the entire family together since then, but not at the holidays. I have the cookies baked and the house decorated. But there is still some stuff to do. I still have a few gifts left to buy and cleaning to do, shopping for food etc. We aren't too sure if Sara will be ok to work next weekend, but with all of us here, we will get it done, it will be a great family bonding experience for all of us. Tom can do Dad and us girls do Mom and cook the holiday dinner. What a fun holiday we have planned. Actually, it really will be wonderful. All of us together! I hope everyone has a great holiday! Love and hugs from the gang in TX. Mary
Nov 15, 04
Hey Everyone, I am back to work with my new and improved nasal airway. Can't say new nose, 'cuz it still looks the same, but I am breathing much better.
Mom is still in the hospital, but is doing better (for those of you who I missed sending the last e-mail to, I have attached it to this one, read the one below before this one).
This past saturday, they finally did a colonoscopy on her. They kept wanting to do one, but her potassium level was too low and they wouldn't do it till it got up in the 3.3 range. They kept giving her laxatives, which brings down the level, then they would give her IV potassium. The proceedure got delayed quite a few times.
The results showed that she had a stool impaction, which was gotten rid of in the second round of laxatives (they gave a second round when we got delayed from friday to sat). The MD said that she didn't have any tumors in her colon and he said it was inflammed due to the impaction. They had her on 4 different antibiotics (all IV), and as of last night only had her on 1 oral and 1 IV. I guess they have to get her off the IV antibiotics before they will send her home. They may also wait until her bowel moves too. I didn't get to see the MD yesterday.
Gotta run, but just wanted to keep you up to date. Love, Mary
Nov 8, 04 Hey Y'all,
Sorry it has been so long since my last e-mail, but not much was happening, then all of a sudden things happen.Last Monday, I had some sinus surgery done. It was not any fun and I am still out from that. I go tomorrow to the Dr. to have the internal splints taken out. I may go back to work wed if I feel well enough. Thursday, Nov 4, was Mom's 82nd birthday. We went out to dinner at the Golden Corral, it is an all you can eat buffet. The nurses like it so that if Mom or Dad don't like something, they can just go and get something else. Sometimes Mom is a bit picky about her food. The evening went long because Liz had car issues and Nancy was late. We finally left the house and followed Liz (driving Mom), Jerry and I had Dad in their car. I didn't want to drive since I was still on pain killers. Liz didn't get on the freeway, she stayed on the feeder road and that took her about 30min for a 10 min drive. We had a good dinner and got them home about 8pm. The next day, Liz called me at about 1pm and said that Mom's stomach was hard. She called the nurse and she was on the way to the house. They gave her some gas pills and she was doing better when I got over there at 4pm.
On Saturday, Anna called me at 2pm and said that she thought Mom needed to go to the hospital, her stomach was huge. I got over there and she looked pregnant. By the time we got to the ER, she looked about 8 months along. They admitted her and began giving her treatment. I stayed until about 6pm that night (wasn't feeling well after being up for 4 hours) and Anna stayed until midnight. Mom was in a lot of pain and Anna stayed until Mom was more comfortable.
Sunday, not much happened and Mom slept most of the day. They had inserted a NG tube in her nose and also had a tube in her rectum on Saturday. They did a CAT scan Sunday and said that she didn't have any large tumor blocking her bowels (good news).
Today, I went up there at 10 and stayed till 3 (too tired to stay any longer) can't wait to get these splints out my nose. They are constricting my airway some and I am running a low grade fever on and off. Today I got to see the GI doctor. He wants to do a colonoscopy on her to look for any blockage that wouldn't be picked up in the CT. He has to wait for her coumadin level to go down before they do that. So they are anticipating doing that on Wed. So she wont be going home anytime soon. Mom looked so much better today. I think she used Sunday to get caught up on her sleep.
Today, she was awake much more, and reading one of her magazines. Yesterday, she would only look at the cover, and today, she was reading.I will keep you all informed on what is going on. Overall, she is doing well and so is Dad. He is a bit antsy about her not being at home and on Sat, while we took Mom to the ER, the nurse that we only use occasionally Denise, gave dad a diet coke and a small candy bar at 5pm. He was up all night long. Denise is his new best friend, but she is not Nancy's (the night nurse who was up with him all night).
Love and hugs to all, Mary et al.
Good Afternoon All, It has been a while since my last e-mail, but that is because all is good and there isn't much going on to tell you about. Both parents are well. No issues today. Dad is getting much stronger and is doing pretty good. Last week I had to take him and mom to the cardiologist for an office visit and lab work for Dad and lab work for Mom. Dad was doing well. He walked and got in the van by himself (which is great since it is a pretty big step up and he did it almost alone. Sara and I just had to scoot his butt back in the seat) and he walked into the office, down the hall to the exam room, then back to the main office, then to the other suite to get the blood work, then back to the van.
He did great. We haven't had him walking that much since his flu and pneumonia. He was also pretty funny with the nurse, Sara, that day. He wanted to wear 2 watches (one on each arm) and Sara didn't like that so she made him take off the extra one. Then he hid it from her and took it out to show me and then asked me to put it on him. So I did. If he wants to wear two watches let him. He also kept looking at both of them during the outing. Not that he checked both times at the same time, he would sometimes look at the one on the right, then later the one on the left. Mom is good too. She seems to be getting stronger. She is putting a little weight on her left foot (the good one) and pivoting on it to get into the wheel chair. It's not alot, but it does help the nurses in the transfer. We are still working on getting her the correct wheelchair. I swear the process moves slower than anything I have ever seen. It will happen sometime.
Today, I am off to get her vision checked. I found a dr. who would do her with no speaking. Not too sure what what will happen, but we will see. At least I can get her old glasses tightened up. They constantly slide down her nose. I have the flu shots lined up for them to take next week. The Kroger here has you make appts, they don't accept walk-ins. Their family dr. doesn't give them. And then I heard on the news last night the shots are in short supply. I got mine here at the hospital on Monday. Glad I did it then before they ran out or said only patient care people. So overall, all is good here in Texas. The weather is getting a little cooler, into the 80's instead of the 90's. Don't want it too cool, Dad hates the cold now. He really likes it warm, even though he has those hot flashes all the time from the injections for the prostate cancer. Well, I gotta run to get them picked up and over to the eye dr. Dad is going for the ride and the fresh air. Love and hugs to all. Mary
Morning Everyone, Another Saturday, another trip to the emergency room with Dad. He fell again. No broken bones, but a sore head and a black eye and some black and blue spots on his face. I got a call from Jerry at 9:30am saturday saying that Sara (the weekend Nurse) was trying to get a hold of me. I was at the dog park and my cell phone was left on the night before and was low on battery, so I left it in the car charging. Sara said that Dad had a black eye and did I know what happend. I told her when I left last night he was fine and in good shape. I got back to the house and his face and eye was swollen and I called his doctor. She said she wanted him to be seen at the ER to make sure nothing was broken. Bola, the night nurse finally called Liz and told her that Dad was sleeping at the edge of the bed and she wanted to move back. He said No and she made him. He was fighting her and he somehow fell. I thing that he hit his head on the bed rail but we really aren't sure. Before BLiz called Liz, I asked Mom some yes or no questions. She told me that yes, dad did fall, the night nurse did know about it and wasn't sure what he was doing when he fell. At first, his right eye was just about swollen shut, but that has gotten back to a more normal look. After we got Dad back from the hospital, I took a mirror and showed him his black eye and his response "Not too bad, I've had worse." Oh, and that nurse, Bola, is no longer with us. Accidents happen, but there is not any excuse for not telling us about the fall. Luckily, he didn't have anything broken, but it could have been worse. He is having a bit of a headache with the fall. Y'all have a good week. Love, Mary
Hey Everyone, Just a quicky to share some more humor associated with the care of Mom and Dad. Yesterday, Dad had a doctor's appt in the Woodlands TX (about 40 miles from us) concerning his spine. I also had an appt to take Mom at 3:15 to see her neurologist. Dad and I got back from the spine dr. about noon. (He said he just wanted to wait and see if Dad will heal on his own. There is a proceedure where they "cement" the fractures, but it requires general anesthesia and being off coumain and we really don't want that). Dad is doing better and not complaining about the pain in his back as much. Liz and I have been talking about giving Mom a perm. She is due for a hair cut and really needs a perm too. The guy who cuts her hair is a bit timid about doing a perm for her, so Liz and I decided we could do it and we decided to do yesterday between the dr's appts. Liz got the perm box and was begining to open the chemicals and pour them together to activate them. I said, but we don't have the curlers/perm rods in her hair yet. Liz said you roll it after the chemicals and I said you have to do it before otherwise there is nothing for the hair to bend on. So she said there are better perms where you do the chemicals first and the rollers later. I was doubtful, but took my butt to the store to buy the product she told me about. Soft and lovely for children. I looked at the box and it said it was a relaxer! I was thinking this couldn't be correct, because we wanted to curl the hair instead of straighten the hair. Well, I baught it anyway. If I am sent to the store for a product, that's what I bring back. Maybe Liz knew something I didn't. Well, Liz starts to combine the products and I question her once more and she said it was a perm, but I said it is a relaxer. So we decided to just roll her hair in traditional curlers and take Mom to the beauty shop for a perm and hair cut. I called the retirement community's hair salon and they will do it on Saturday. Oh, and I want you to know when Liz was going to put the relaxer in her hair, Mom had the deer in the headlight look going on. I hope you have a good weekend! I am off again today for a double doctor appt with both M&D at the same Dr. Love, Mary
8/12/04 9:11am
Hey Everyone, I hope you all are doing well. Here in TX we are plugging right along. Dad went to the doctor last week and she heard/saw how much pain he was in when she asked him to sit up so she could hear his lungs. So she sent us to the hospital next door to get an x-ray of his spine, an MRI, and a bone density test. We got the x-ray done that day and I realized that he can't have a mri since he has a pacemaker, so we got that changed to a cat scan. It has taken me 3 different trips to the hospital, but we have finally gotten all of them done. The diagnosis is that he has, and I quote from the official report, "Comprssion deformities of L1 and L2. These are suggestive of acute fractures." He also has osteoporosis in his spine and left hip (his stroke affected side) and is in the begining stages in the right hip. She has put him on Fosamax. She said it would take 2 years for it to work completely, and after that he would be fixed up for 7 years. Well, at least we can start on fixing him. The dr. said that if falls just right, that left hip will snap like a twig and if that happens he will be bedridden. And I have to take him to a spine specialist to see what can be done to help the fractures heal. I had some excitement yesterday, after the Cat Scan, I loaded Dad into the back of the van, and it was hot in there, so I went up through the seats and started the engine and cranked up the air conditioner, then I finished buckling him in (seat belt) and tied down the 4 legs of the wheelchair. I then got out and stowed the lift and closed the door. I walked around to the driver's side door and the damn doors were all locked. I had Dad locked in (with the ac running) and a half a tank of gas. I really freaked out. I called Jerry and he was on the other side of town (he has an extra set of keys) and Liz was at home with Mom and she was alone, so she couldn't come and help. Finally, I got the security guard at the hospital to help. He had a slim jim and that didn't work. We got the side door's window popped open (it has a push out window) and got a coat hanger type device and got the door unlocked. We got him out in about 45 minutes. Thank God the ac was on. So now I have a copy of the key in one of those magnetic boxed under my bumper for such an emergency. I can see it happening to anyone. It was too easy to do. Jerry's truck locks, but you have to reach 15mph before it does, but my van does it when you start the van. I usually do this by going through the driver's side door and I unlock the door after it starts. God I can't believe I did that. In the newspaper this morning in Texas, a 89 year old woman was left in a van yesterday at an nursing home (the guy took her to the hospital and forgot to get her out of the van when they arrived) and was found 4 hours later (doors lock, windows rolled up and no ac) dead! They say the van reached 140F!!! So that was my day yesterday with Dad. Mom is doing very well. I haven't had any issues with her in a while. She is looking good, she is getting stronger by the day. Yesterday a speach therapist came by the house, but really didn't offer much for us to do, that we aren't already doing. But at least she came by to check her out. I have an appointment with her neurologist later this month so we will see what she has to say. But overall, Mom is doing great. She is eating by herself, she helps with folding the laundry (hand towels, washcloths, small items), and seems to be reading magazines. I will keep you all posted on the neverending saga of the parents and the 2 daughters who are trying to keep them helathy. Love to all, Mary et al
Just a quick update. We got Dad out of the Hospital last night at about 9pm. He was being a little bit of a pain for us and the nurses. He really wanted to leave and Anna and I had to keep him in the bed until the doctor came and then after she released him, he was really ready to get out then and he kept trying to escape. All is good today, I have to go and pick up Joan from the airport. Will update you again soon. Love to all, Mary
Hey y'all, It has been since June 25 since my last update, and thought I better get on the stick or y'all will be fussin' at me. First off all is good here in TX. Hotter than Hades some days and wet as a cow peeing on a flat rock other days. Today it is pretty hot, but yesterday felt hotter with the heat index of 106F. We had something like 20 inches of rain in Houston for the month of June. Way too wet! Today, Mom and Dad are off tromping with Liz and Sara. They are taking them to a "healing" then to Luby's Cafeteria for lunch, then off to see a movie called Notebook. Sara said the "healing" would take about 20 minutes and could she take them. I said go ahead. I feel like it can't hurt. I have no idea what Notebook is about, but Liz said the Therapist said she should take them to see it, that they would like it. Liz has been taking M&D on little outtings each week for past few weeks. The first time they went to the Aquarium (here in Houston). It opened last year and I haven't even been there yet, but M&D have. They also went to dinner there and didn't get back till late that night. In fact the night shift came and couldn't find M&D and got worried. Liz said that M&D had a great time and Mom did real well.
The next week they went to the Science museum and saw an IMAX film on the sea and went to the butterfly museum. Yet again another thing I haven't done yet. Anna has been to the butterfly museum, but I have not. They had a good time there too. Dad told me there were huge mountains at the theater, and Liz looked at me and said "it was all underwater." Oh, well, Dad had fun, that's all that matters. Ola also told me that during these last 2 outtings, Mom has been dry when they returned. One of the trips they were gone about 6 hours, that means she may be in contol of her blatter at times. YEA MOM! Liz said she would have to start sitting Mom on the potty to see if she can use it. We had a bit of a time with Mom and her coumadin levels. The cardiologist told me to up the dose to 4mg a day from 3mg a day. Well, Mom started to ooze a bit of blood, not alot, around her g-tube. So we went off to the doctor and got her back in line. They have her back on 3mg and all is good. I finally am getting Mom evaluated for a powered wheelchair. The company is sending out a therapist to evaluate and measure her. That is scheduled for tomorrow. It is like parting the red sea to get some of this stuff taken care of, but we are finally in motion for the chair. There is a big medicare fraud here in Houston concering powered wheelchairs and medicare is rejecting alot of the requests, but they think they will approve one for Mom. I will let you know. Dad is doing better and Liz is taking him out for walks daily. He is getting stronger and he was even pushing Mom in the wheelchair the other day at the doctors office. His hand is out of the splint and cast and his finger is a bit bent and will always be. It is still bothering him some. You have to ask him, he won't tell you it hurts all by himself. I don't know if sometimes he is kidding me, but lately he asks "who are you?" I reply "Mary, who are you?" and he says "Joe" and laughs!. I haven't been over too much in the past two weeks, I have had a cold/allergies/sinus infection and didn't want to infect them. In fact yesterday was the first day I stayed longer than a few minutes. I have some antibiotics and other nose pills and finally feel better. Well, I better run and get back to work. Love and hugs to all, Mary
If you would like to contribute we are pitchin in $50.00 each. The chair is about 200.00 and Medicare won't buy those. It is like Aunt Jay's chair. Lightweight and easy to transport in the Malibu. Mom's chair won't fit in the Malibu and Dad has a hard time getting in my vehicles. Sometimes he won't ride in the wheelchair in my van, he wants to sit in the front seat like a regular person. Anyway, just making the offer as a "I don't know what to get him for father's day" gift thing. If you want to pitch in just send either me or anna a check. Love and hugs, Mary
Wednesday, June 02, 2004 7:59 AM
Good Morning to you all,
Sorry it has been awhile since my last correspondance, but there hasn't been much to tell you about. Overall, both Mom and Dad are doing better. Dad is getting stronger by the day.
Joan arrived here last Thursday and I put her right to work. Dad had an appointment at the cardiologist for a "chemical" stress test. It literally took about 8 hours from door to door. We got the results back yesterday, and his heart is a little weak, but when stressed, it pumps well. The Dr. says he will give Dad another medication to help his heart work better. He said overall things looked good and he didn't need any other proceedures done on him. We asked about the pacemaker and he will get a pacemaker check up in August.
Today, Wed, June 2, at 1pm. Joan and I are taking Dad to see the family dr. He has his follow up with her. We need to update her that he is now complaining about his back and his hips. The swelling and bruising has gone down/away tremendously. There are just a few light blue spots on the 2 first fingers by the thumb. He goes to the hand doctor next week and we also have a cardio appt for Mom next week.
Joan is leaving tomorrow and I will be sad to see her go. I really enjoy her company, but she has also been a help for M&D.
Mom is doing very well. At her last dr. appt, she said that Mom still has a urinary tract infection, but this one is treatable with pill form antibiotics. The other one she had was a very resistant bug and would only be killed by IV antibiotics. She will go back to the dr in a few weeks to get a check up.
We took Mom and Dad and the entire extended Houston family plus Joan out to dinner on Sunday. We went to the Blackeyed Pea. We had a party of 14 and it took a long time to get the food, but Mom was sitting at the head of the table and sat there for about 2 hours. She did real well. She sat very good in the wheelchair and didn't make any of her compaining noises (like when she is uncomfortable). All went well and we sorta hurried up after dinner to get her back home in bed. OOPS big mistake!! We got her home and she threw up her dinner. We moved her too soon after eating. She really needs to be upright and evidentially not moving for at least a half an hour. Well, now we know, we will have to wait to transport her for that 1/2 hour.
Also, on Sunday, we took Joan down to Texas City, Tx to see a flamingo that has landed here. They think it is a male about 2 years old. They (the bird people) feel that because of his wings (not being clipped they way they do it zoos) and the type of flamingo, he is from the wild and not a zoo escapee. They think he got lost and flew up from Mexico. They don't know how long he is going to be here, but we sure did see him. He is located at the Texas City Dike and is on the left. They have an area roped off. For all you Houston area folks, he is a beautiful bird that is worth the drive to see, or if you just need an excuse to head south. Joan was thrilled to see him.
Well, gotta get back to work especially since I have to leave today at noon for the next dr appt with Dad.
Love and hugs to all,
Mary et. al.
Good Morning to all of you,
All is good today at the Dombrowski Rehab Center. Dad is on the road to recovery and is looking better every day, but he still is not at 100%. He is maybe about 65-70%. He is still a bit weak and a bit shaky when he is walking. His hand is doing better and the swelling has gone down and the hand is not as bruised at is was. I am attaching a few pictures of Dad and his hand. I will send a picture of Mom tomorrow. I am having trouble with my computer skills or should I say computer accessories.
Kelley got me this wonderful digital camera and we took some pictures this weekend. So last night I went upstairs to download the pictures to the computer (which worked well), then I tried to save them to a CD. Well that didn't work. The CD gave me some smart butt window that said, you need to go out to the internet and pay a fee to get the "full" version of the software that will allow you to format the CD. What the hell, I thought they came formatted. So then I went to our hotmail account and was going to send them out to all of you last night. Well, then I tried to attach one of the photos and 15 minutes later it still wouldn't attach. What a pain.
So I got a diskette and decided to save them on the one and only diskette I could find and then I attached a whopping 2 pictures and then it said disk full, BUT before I could do that I had to formatt the diskette. What the hell again, Why am I having to do all this disk formatting! Jerry is out of town so he wasn't there to help me fuss at the computer. I guess I have to figure out the photo software so the photos won't save in the great detail that they did so I can get more on a diskette.
So, let me get back to the folks. Mom is doing well. She has a doctors appt tomorrow and Dad has a bone scan. I will get to try out the new lift tomorrow! Mom is looking well, but she isn't able to tollerate sitting in the wheelchair for very long so I haven't been able to take her anywhere yet (like to church or to get her hair done).
On Saturday, the bath lady came and got the mattress pad wet. So Sara had to put Mom in the wheelchair so she could dry the pad. Mom got real fussy being in the chair that long to dry the pad. I need to see about getting a different wheelchair for her. We have a rental one now, and I don't think it is the correct chair for her.
Anna got back from Oman on Thursday and I was glad to see her home safe and sound. She had a good trip, but was tired. She is back to work today.
Joan will be visiting Houston for a week begining this Thursday. Can't wait to see her. She will be suprised at how Mom is, she is so much improved from when Joan saw her last. She will also be suprised at how weak Dad is. Or maybe he will be better by the time she comes.
Gotta get back to work. Love and hugs to you all. Mary
Good Morn to all of you,
Just a quick note to let you know that I finally have a few good things to report. Dad went for a check up yesterday and he is doing much, much better. His pneumonia is totally gone and the crackling in the lung is all gone. He can stop the breathing treatments and the oxygen (24/7). He will only need the treatments and the oxygen if he gets short of breath. YEA! DAD! He is healing very well. T
he GP said all is pretty good now we just have to get the hand back to working order. It is still a bit swollen, but it is not nearly as black and blue as it was before. It still is bothersome to him and she is a bit concerned about that and has given him a pain pill to help with the pain if he needs it.
And of course, Mom is good. She will go to the MD for a check up on Monday. We hope to have the van back from the lift installer by then so it will be easier for us to transport her to the Dr. Then I can take her for a hair cut!!
Thanks for all the prayers and keep it up, it is helping a huge amount.
Hey Y'all,
It's getting hot here in Texas. We are supposed to hit the big 90 this week and it is only the middle of May. Oh, well, it is much better than freezing in the winter.
Well, it has been a very busy week for me. Anna is out of town and actually out of the country. She is in Oman. She left this past tuesday and will be back home this thursday (about 10 days) and I am in charge of the folks. Scarry thought being the lone one to make decisions, just the small ones of course. For the biggies, I get out the phone and get all the sibs involved.
Mom is doing very well. She is very perky and bright eyed. She is still "tattling" on Dad and now she has even more to tattle on him about. Last week Dad fell twice. He is taking some "anti-flu" medication and it makes him a bit groggy and unstable on his feet. He fell the first time against Liz and the wall and skinned his left calf and his left butt cheek. Then on Tuesday about midnight, he fell while messing with Mom and then going to the bathroom.
Nancy was there that time and she couldn't get to him fast enough. She thought he was going to sit back on the bed and at the last moment, he turned to go to the potty and he fell. It wasn't too bad and Liz got a doctor appt with him for 10 am on Tues. The doctor got him squeezed in and had x-rays taken. She took a bunch to make sure he didn't break a hip. Well he broke his ring finger, but not a hip. He also had two fractured vertebra T4 and T5.
We couldn't get him to the hand surgeon that day and we had to wait until Wednesday to see him. The Hand dude decided that the best treatment was to put him in a cast for 6-8 weeks instead of surgery. He said Dad would have about 80% of the use by doing the cast instead of surgery. And it is Dad's "bad" hand so I made the decision to just do the cast thing. The ortho guy said the fractured T4 & T5 were old injuries and if they weren't bothering him, we wouldn't do anything about that for now.
I had to take the new van into get the lift today, so this week sometime we will have the van ready for Mom and Dad. Dad has been so weak, we had to use the wheelchair for him and Liz had to lift him in and out of the van for all these doctor appts.
So as of right now we have both parents at home and Mom is sucking the life out of Dad. He is looking not so good and she is looking better. My good friend Kelley, got me a digital camera for my birthday and as soon as I get a chance to get it working I will send out some pictures of them (and dad's hand too).
Well, that's about all for now.
love and hugs from all the Texan's (the Dombrowski-Davis' not the football team of course)
Hey to Y'all,
Not a whole lot going on this week. Dad is still on the path to recovery and he is getting a bit better every day. We went to 2 doctors yesterday with Dad. One was with the GP. She said he still has a little crackle in the lower part of his right lung. She put him on a different antibiotic and told us to come back weekly until he is better.
Then we went to see the cardiologist. He gave dad a thumbs up and all was good. While he was in the hospital the GP had a Echocardiogram done and sent to him. He said it was fine. We just have to have a stress test done and that is scheduled for the end of the May.
Mom is doing well also. Since we have to give dad breathing treatments round the clock we have a night shift and Anna is catching up on sleep. Mom is very reactive to Dad and his behavior. She "tattles" on him if he does anything that she doesn't like. For example, Liz and I were in the kitchen (we have baby monitors set up in the house to hear what is going on in their bedroom) and we heard Mom making her crying noise. It got worse and worse (in about 30 seconds) so Liz ran back there and Dad had taken off the mask for the breathing treatment.
Oh, and yesterday after we got back from the doctor's appts. Dad went to the potty at the house and we hear Mom doing the crying thing and there is Dad walking out of the potty with his pants around his ankles and all his business hanging out. Mom really didn't like that one. He could have tripped and there he was showing all his stuff to everyone. There are some things that the "baby of the family" (that's me) shouldn't see. Oh, well it wasn't the first time and probably wont be the last.
The good thing is that Mom is making her needs and wants known and we are picking up on it better. Sometimes she does get annoying because she wants things done "right now" and sometimes you are dealing with Dad when she wants it. Anna says she has certain things that she wants done at certain times. Like Dad needs to be in his PJ's by 7pm. The lights in the bathroom can't be on, the shades need to be pulled down etc.
But overall, thing are doing fine. Anna will be going to Oman next week (the 11th) and will be gone for about 10 days. We will have care for them 24/7 and I will stop by every day to see how stuff is and to do all the shopping etc.
Jerry and I traded in our Suburban and purchased a GMC Savana. It is a full sized van and we are going to have a handicap lift added and wheelchair tie downs added. I hope to get it soon. Dad did not want to get rid of the Malibu and we really didn't have the money for M&D to buy another vehicle (let alone where to park it), so this will be my vehicle and when Liz needs it I will drive the Malibu to work.
Well, that's about all for now. No one is in the hospital and (knock on wood) they seem to be ok.
Good Thursday AM to all of you!
Things are rocking and rolling here at E&E Elder Care Inc. Mom is doing wonderful! She is making alot of her needs known to us. I don't know if she is getting better at communicating her needs or we are guessing what she wants faster than before. As I said in a few e-mails before, we are idiots at times with figuring out what she wants. Some of it is that we now know she wants things done and when she wants them done.
For example. Mom WANTS Dad to be in his jammies (PJ's, night clothes) by 7pm. If he isn't, she isn't happy. She wants to watch Emeril on the food network from 7-8pm, then it is time for bed. We are using a peice of paper with YES and NO on it. We will ask her a yes or no question and then she will point to the answer she wants. Like last night, I asked her do you want to watch Emeril? She pointed to yes. So we switched from 60 minutes. Also, yesterday Liz and I were talking during the 5pm news and they had a car chase, where there were lots of cars chasing a truck and the truck overtuned, Mom held up a hand to me to quit talking so she could hear the news. In a nut shell, I think Mom is doing pretty well. Knock on wood!
Dad on the other hand is a bit different. He is extremely weak. I went over yesterday to cook dinner and he was laying in bed in a very strange position. It was like his butt was gonna fall off the side of the bed. Liz and I tried to move him to sit better and to sit up so he could take his pills, but he just didn't have any strength to help us. Liz had to beast him up and we had to pull the bed away from the wall so both of us could get in position to move him. We finally got him up to a semi-ok position so he could eat. He wouldn't feed himself. I had to sit and feed him and he would not really open his eyes. He would peek at me to see if it was me feeding him. It took about 1/2 hour to feed him about half a dinner.
We also are putting him on thicken fluids. He seems to be coughing when he drinks regular fluids. The doctor put him on another anti-depressant drug a few weeks ago, and that may be causing some of his tiredness. He is also getting huge headaches. The anitbiotic he is on gives him headaches and we looked at the drug profile for this new drug and it does too. So we are gonna try to slack off on that drug to see what happens.
It is like Mom has sucked the strength out of Dad and has it now. She is stronger and he is weaker now. Hopefully he will gain is strength back in a few weeks and she will get stronger too. This pneumonia and flu has really zonked it out of him. They had him confined to bed for a week and he can't even stand up by himself at this point in time.
I will let you know how it is going and we hope for a speedy progress for Dad.
Sorry it has been a while since my last e-mail, but things have been hetic at home and a little busy at work too.
We got broke out of the hospital yesterday. He was in there for a week. He ended up with viral pneumonia and the flu. So he got put into isolatton at the hospital. It was just that you had to wear a mask when you went into see him and he had a private room. He was ok there, but they had to restrain him to the bed with this gizmo that looked like a vest. The vest went on him then tied him to the bed. So he really didn't get out of bed for a week. But he was pretty weak too, so I don't know if he would have "gone" anywhere but I guess they wanted to be sure he was kept to the bed.
He was very very tired when he got home. He was released with oxygen and needs breathing treatments every four hours. I guess I need to back up a bit and let you know what "new" issues the physician found out with Dad. The Dr. ran a cat scan on Dad to make sure he didn't have any blood clots in his lungs from the pneumonia.
The cat scan came back with results she didn't expect. The most major issue is that he has a 1.3cm lesion/growth in the lung. At this time she doesn't know if it is cancer or not, it would have to be biopsied to find that out. And he is too weak from the pneumonia and flu to have that done now. The results also revealed that he has some fluid in the lung, maybe from the pneumonia or from the lack of movement while in the hosp. Also, he has some major scaring in the lung from what we don't know.
So to sum up Dad, worst case he could have cancer in the lung or just a tumor that is not cancer.
Mom is doing pretty well by the way. She is getting stronger and is looking much more alert these days. Last night when the guy was showing us how to do Dad's breathing treatment's and set up the oxygen, she was very intently watching and I am sure that if she could walk and use the right hand, she would know exactly what to do and would take care of him. We are waiting for the results from a urine culture that was gotten on Monday. This will let the dr. know if the urinary tract infection is gone or not. If not, she will get more antibiotics. We should know that soon.
Well, gotta run and get some work done. Keep M&D in your prayers.
Good Morning,
Just wanted to give you an update on Dad. He is still in the hospital. The doctor called me late last night to give me an update on his condition. She said that he "hasn't improved as she expected." She felt that if the pneumonia was bacterial, that he would improve since he is on a pretty strong antibiotic (delivered via IV), so she thinks that this is a viral pneumonia.
He had wheezing in the entire right lung where she had only heard it in a portion of the lung the evening he was admitted to the hospital. She is going to call in a lung specialist to look at him and was going to give him another breathing treatment last night. The first night she listened to his lung and only heard a small area of wheezing, he had had a breathing treatment shortly before.
I did visit him last night and he looked pretty good. He has all the nursing staff at his beck and call and he loves it. The staff call him "Angel" and he is on good behavior. They say he is no problem and just love his eyes. I was in the room and the nurses said, oh your his daughter, you have his beautiful eyes. They just love him.
Mom was doing well also. Liz accidentally let Anna's dog loose yesterday and he took off. She went after him and they finally caught him when he was done running. He ran out of the neighborhood on to a very busy street, but he was ok. Liz said Mom was pretty happy yesterday and does not seem to be too bothered by Dad being gone. He does bug her you know. She also may know that he needs to be in the hospital since he was ill. We just hope that he didn't pass this on to her or anyone else in the house hold, we don't need Liz or Anna sick too.
I will let you all know something when I do. Keep us in your prayers.
Love, M
Well, another week, another hospitalization, however it isn't Mom this time, it is Dad. He has had a cold all last week and yesterday, he was wheezing when he was breathing. Liz called me about 3pm and told me about it and I called the MD and she was out of the office already, so I hauled him to the local ER. Found out he has pnemunonia.
They kept him to treat him with antibiotics and breathing treatments. We got to a room about 11pm last night and I was impressed that the MD showed up to do his eval on him that late at night. She is a really caring doctor. Most would say, I'll see him tomorrow, but she got there to see him. He was a bit weak getting him to the ER, but he looked better when I left out of there. I hope he was good for the staff last night.
Mom is doing better. She is getting a bit stronger little by little. The other night Anna had both parents with dirhrea at the same time. She heard mom crying and when she got in there mom was trying to get out of bed. Both good and bad. Good that she is getting stronger, but bad if she had actually gotten out fo bed unassisted.
Anna is doing a great job with their care after the day shift leaves. I am trying to do all the running around for her so she doesn't have to worry about that type of stuff. It is really a full time job just taking care of them, let alone getting all the replacement crap that is needed.
Gotta run and get some work type stuff done.
I will let you know their progress and remember no news is good news.
Just a quick note to tell you that Mom got home from the hospital yesterday. She was looking better, but the dr. said her stomach was upset and she stopped the current antibiotic and will let us know what she wants to do with that.
Dad was real upset when I got there yesterday, he was crying real hard and was trying to tell me something and I finally got to hear it and it was "mom is dead" and I told him "no, she is outside in the ambulance" he didn't believe me and we had to walk out so he could see them bring her in the house.
Gotta run to a meeting, Y'all have a great day.
Love, Mary
Howdy Y'all,
Welcome to the next installment of the life and times of Ed and Ele.
(Ed K, could you send this to your Mom and Dad, somehow they got deleted from the list and I don't have their address. Thanks,)
Unfortunately, yesterday morning, we had to call 911 to get the ambulance to see Mom and get her to the hospital. The physical therapist came to see Mom Monday, am and did the workout with her. He/She put Mom back in the wheelchair and left. Liz noticed Mom's head slumped down a few minutes later. She tried to shake Mom, but she didn't respond. Liz got her back into bed and called 911. She vomited and had some even come out the nose. Mom looked better before the EMT's arrival, but since we didn't know what happened, she was off to the hospital.
She got there about 9:45 -10:00 yesterday morning. Anna and I raced to the hospital (not as in so much of a panic as the last time with seizures) and got to the ER and they had Mom in a room. They left her alone, so I figured it wasn't too bad. They did alot of tests, including a catscan, and didn't find anything wrong and no new strokes. They finally got a cath sample of her urine and it was very cloudy. She has another urinary tract infection (UTI). The nurse told me that when the elderly have UTI's they have all sorts of things happen to them and he was not suprised that she was non-responsive from that.
The doctor admitted her to the hospital to treat the infection with IV antibiotics and to make sure she didn't get any vomit into her lungs. The Dr. said it takes a few days to find out for sure if that happened or not. So she will stay there for a while. Mom was doing well this morning when Dad and Liz went to see her.
Other than that incident, all was/is well here. Mom is still trying to communicate with us and we still are stupid and can't figure it out. On Sunday, it was very rainy and cool here (in the low 60's), Anna was cool and turned on the heater to heat up the house some. Jerry and I and his parents came over for Easter lunch and went home. Jerry and I came back to finish the bathroom shower (YEA!) around dinner time. I sat down by Mom and she got a bit upset and started pulling on my sweat shirt.
We, Sara - the weekend nurse, Anna or myself couldn't figure what Mom wanted. She kept getting more and more upset. Well after about 10 minutes of her crying I figured out that she didn't like me wearing my sweatshirt (she was hot). I took it off and put on one of Anna's t-shirts and she settled down. I guess she was having a fever with the UTI we didn't know about and we did change her blouse to a lighter one and she was all better. See, sometimes it is hard to figure out what she wants.
Dad got real upset last night with Mom in the hospital. Anna said that he cried real hard for about a half hour. Nothing she was saying to him was sinking in. She was telling him she was ok and she just left Mom and she was fine, but he continued to cry. So in desparation, she called the dog, Tiger, over and got him to howl. He is a mighty fine howler and will really do it on command (that is if you howl too). Dad immediately laughed and started meowing like a cat and he forgot the crying. She said he was better after that. Not perfect, but better.
Dad has really gotten used to being back together with Mom. He really is missing on her and I guess he thinks that they will be separated for a long time again. I really think Mom will be coming home in a few days.
We are still working on getting things right for M&D at Anna's. We got a wheelchair, then got a hoyer lift to get her in the chair, then the lift won't fit under the bed and are working on getting a hospital bed so we can use the lift. We also need to figure out some mode of transport of Mom. It is very very difficult to get her from the wheelchair to their car and back again. I am also looking for someone who does hair and would be willing to come over to Anna's to work on her hair. We (Sara and I) have put some curlers in her hair and are trying, but she will need a haircut soon. So, if any of you Houstonians know of someone who would be willing to do this let me know! Dottie, could come every week to do it. But it would be a long commute from FL. (Just kidding, Dottie)
Well gotta run and get Dad to the Dr. today. He isn't sleeping very well and want to have him checked out (this was before the hospital thing this week) to make sure nothing is wrong there.
Love, and hugs to all,
The Texans
Hey to all of you!
I just wanted to let everyone know that Mom and Dad are doing well after the transition to Anna's house. It has been a week and all is pretty good. We have 2 sitters who are helping out with Mom's care. Liz is there monday - friday and Sara is there on Sat and Sun. They come a 7 am and leave at 7pm.
Overall, Mom is getting stronger. She looks good. Her color is good and she is starting to really try to communicate with us using hand gesters and grunting noises. Some times she makes noises if Dad is doing something wrong or something else is not right. The othe day, Mom started making noises when Anna was in the bedroom helping Dad change his clothes from a accident. Anna said the drawer was open just a little bit and Mom was making a noise and seeming upset. Anna went over and closed the drawer and Mom was ok.
Anna is a bit better at finding out the meaning of Mom's gestures. Some are pretty easy, like she will point up at the light if she wants it off. But the other day, she grabbed my right arm and kept squeezing it and moving her hand up and down my arm. I never did figure out what she wanted. I think maybe Dad was messing with her arm that way and she wanted him to stop, but I am not sure on that one. Then there was one time she was adament that she wanted something and she started out by patting her chest over her heart, then she did the arm squeezing and then we finally figured out that she wanted to be changed. Sometimes Anna and I feel pretty stupid not knowing what she wants and then she looks a little frustrated that we can't figure it out.
Yesterday, Sara was reading some of Anna's little books to Mom, and then she got this toy that you write on with a magnetic pen ( when you are done you slide a bar over the screen and erases it- I forget what you call them, but it is not an etchasketch), and Mom wrote her name a bunch of times. Her signature was much better than it was a few months ago.
Jerry and I are still working on the shower. We have all the tile placed and need to grout the floor and around the soap dishes. Jerry got the grab bars installed yesterday and got the shower knobs etc set up. So not too much more to go.
We also had Mom and Dad out on Anna's back porch/patio yesterday afternoon and Mom was very anxious to get out the bed and into the wheelchair. It must be hard to be in bed all the time and she loves the time out of bed, but it does tire her out when she is in the wheelchair. She moves her left leg alot and her left arm alot. She was sitting up pretty well yesterday and her she was holding her head up some of the time. Way to go, Mom!
Dad is doing ok. He had some problems last week with not getting to the potty on time. I also changed his depends to a size Med. Well, the large said it was for waist 44-54" and his is only 38", well he must need the extra room for pulling up and getting himself situated. So he is back on the large size. I did the same thing with Mom's and got her the mediums, but she needs the large ones for the leg room. They gap alot around the waist, but Anna uses some tape and closes it up some. It bugs Mom if it gapes.
Dad told me yesterday, that he dreads going back to Fl because it is a long trip. So I told him not to worry about it and he can stay for a while here at Anna's and he was ok with that. I brought over some of the amarylis (sp?) flowers that are blooming now. Jerry and I call them Easter Lily's but they aren't the white ones, they are the colored ones. We have alot of them blooming in our yard and I thought Mom would like them. So I cut one stem that has 4 flowers in bloom and they are white and red. Dad and Mom have some of the same one's at their home in Fl.
Mom gave Anna some of the bulbs years ago and she passed some on to me. So when I brought the flowers over yesterday, Dad asked me how the house was (in FL). He thought I drove down there and cut the flower and come back to Anna's. I told him it was too far to go and that they were in my yard. I also told Dad that Joan would be down there to check on the house this week.
Well, gotta get back to work. Chat at you later.
Hi to all of you,
I added some names to this, so some of you might not be completely in the loop. Sorry if I haven't been in contact with some of you, but life has been tough, but it's much better now.
My mother Eleanore, who was Ed's caretaker after a stroke 13 years ago, herself had a massive stroke in October, 4 days after her successful triple bypass heart surgery. Through much hard work, creativity, flexibility and coordination from us kids and various relatives and friends, we finally moved them to Houston in a rental 27-ft recreational vehicle (because Mom couldn't fly), and into a small assisted living apartment.
However the management decided they were too much in need of help to live there, so we rapidly renovated my house and finally moved them into my house yesterday. Hopefully this will be their last home. It's a ranch style house all on one level. Ed thinks I built a new house for him and Eleanore, whereas in reality, only handicap ramps by the doors were added and the master bath was being renovated - bathtub removed and a handicap wheel chair accessible shower was installed. He likes my backyard as there is a nice large wooden deck with 2 large oak trees and lots of flowers birds. He really likes to watch the birds. They both seem to like it at my place and are peaceful.
We've arranged for a licenced certified nursing assistant (CNA) to be with them 7 days/week from 7am to 7pm. I'm there in the evenings. There will be a lady to clean also, and a several times a week a home health agency sends out someone to keep track of their blood pressure, help bathe Mom, and do physical therapy for both of them.
Mom still is not speaking, but she is very alert and aware of what is happening. She will hold the phone and listen while you talk to her. She gets a really big smile and perks up when she listens on the phone.
The busy time in the evenings is 7:30 to 9pm, so if you call I may not be able to answer depending on what I'm doing at the moment. The CNA gets Mom in bed before she leaves, but Daddy may still be up and about. He's been wanting to go to sleep about 8 pm give or take a half hour. I give them their last pills of the day. I change Mom before I go to bed 9-ish, and then once or twice more during the night. It's not bad at all now that they are in the same house as me. From March 7 until yesterday they were living in a small apartment nearby with the CNA's 24 hours during the week and also weekend days, with me taking the night shift and sleeping on their couch on Friday and Saturday nights. It's much easier now with us all here in one place.
Mary & Jerry (my sister and brother-in-law) live only a few blocks away and have been a TREMENDOUS help, as also have been friends Kelley and Buddy, and Jerry's father and brother. So I'm not on my own having to take care of them by myself by any means.
I'll keep you updated from time to time, but always remember that no news is GOOD news!
Anna
Hi to all. Tom here from PA.
We could write a novel about all the twists and turns that happened, but as I type, Ed and Eleanore Dombrowski are now safely in TX.
Long story short, EVERY thing that we intended to do to move Ed and Eleanore to TX did not work the way we envisioned, but we found new ways to accomplish the various goals. AND ALL INVOLVED ARE STILL ON SPEAKING TERMS!!!!!
Saturday morning started with Eleanore producing significant bowel movements (excuse the excessive detail) and that was her "get out of jail free" card). Ed was saying "I'm not going to TX" so it took a little bit of work to get him dressed and to the hospital to visit with Mom.
Anna and Mary and Eddie went to the hospital to get a "taking care of Eleanore class" and the packers, (Jerry -Mary's hubby), Jerry's friend Buddy, Mary's friend Kelly and Tom) went into overdrive and packed up the house with significant items (pictures,clothes, books, lamps, etc). The packers were done before the bureacracy of the hospital was finished so we had to cool our jets before the trip began. At 2:43 EST we got Eleanore sprung from the hospital, loaded into a rental RV and we started west.
17 hours and 10 minutes later we arrived at Mary's house. Eleanore was an ACE raveller with Mary, Anna and Kelly taking care of her. Ed was WIRED. He stayed up until he crossed into TX (23 hours without sleep, he knew that going to Mobile AL was not the direct way from the hospital to his house in Deltona). But we got there safe and sound.
The biggest issue was how to get Eleanore out of the RV. With a little help from the local EMS squad it was NOT A MAJOR problem.
So, Ed and Eleanore are now living at VOP in Houston. Anna and Mary have arranged private nursing care for them with the help of Kelly (see packing section and taking care of Eleanore en route section) and Lynda. Mary and Anna now are shouldering the major load as they are at "ground zero" and it will be a learning experience for them. I have a buddy at work who says "you got to give your kids a chance to show how good they can be" and I am 100% sure that Anna and Mary (with help from the extended Davis family and Joan and Tom/Mary Liz) will show how good they are by take excellent care of Ed and Eleanore.
The old saying goes, "be good to your kids, they pick your nursing home." I think Ed and Eleanore were FABULOUS parents, and I only hope we have done enough for them.
We will continue to update the list of concerned friends and family. The move to Texas is being viewed in the next step of Eleanore's recovery and we will take one day at a time and be thankful that both our parents are still with us.
As the siblings we can not thank you all enough for your help, prayers and support. WE WILL STILL NEED THEM ALL.
Thanks to all,
P.S. Kelly and Buddy who were on this great adventure you were wonderful and need to be singled out and we hope that you win the lottery!!!!! We will NEVER be able to thank you enough!!!!
Hi to all, Well the word is WESTWARD-HO. Mom will bechecke out the hospital Saturday and we will mmediately start heading to TX in an rental RV.
Please keep those prayers comming!!!
Mom had a CAT scan that showed no blockages, polyps,lessions and the test got her bowels moving. She is out of DM and if she remains stable we are good to go.
Next up date will be from Houston. Love and thanks toall. Please keep those prayers coming!!!!!
Ed, Anna, Mary, Tom, Jerry, Kelly and Buddy
HI TO ALL, A quick update. The Texans are in an RV in FL and heading to Deltona. Mom in still in the hospital not having solid stool samples. They are now ordering the tests tonight that they said they were going to do when we took her to the hospital onTuesday. Stay tuned. Tom
Hi, This is Mary from Houston giving you the update today. We are having trouble with Mom's computer so Tom asked that I send this out today.
The big news is that Mom is currently at the hospital. This time there wasn't an event so to speak, in fact we kinda pushed her to be admitted. Mom is constipated and has been for about two weeks. Actually two weeks ago, when I was there, she had a stomach thing going with vomitting and dirreha. That was the last time she had any real good bowel movements. DM has been treating her, but not much action. We are planning on moving them this week and need to get this sorted out before we make the big move, so we pushed DM into action. The MD at DM is going to have a cat scan of her belly and a colonoscopy there at the hospital.
They had to admit her through the Emergency Room and she was transported there about 5 pm last night. She finally got admitted to a room at 1am. According to Tom, the ER did not do a cat scan last night, but did a x-ray. They are "working her up" today. I will know more later in the day, I hope. But for now Mom is in room 387 bed 1 or A at the hospital the one on the Lake.
We are still going to try to move her this week/weekend and are renting a RV. So we planned to leave today after work and get on the road, but will see what happens and maybe just punt back a day and do the big move on Sat instead of Fri.
Mom was in great spirits last night. In fact Tom said that last night was the best he had ever seen Mom since the stroke. She was smiling, happy, and even laughing (with out the sounds). The ER MD was Polish and spoke to her in Polish. Mom understood him, from what Tom and the MD said. Tom made a few jokes about her having a Polish dr. Tom thinks that maybe Mom's sleep/day cycle is a bit screwed up and is much better at night. The ER did some blood work and found out that mom was/is low on potassium and they gave her about 8oz of some potassium supplement through her feeding tube. The ER doc said the lack of potassium could cause some constipation.
Another interesting thing is that mom was not dehydrated and they did not have to start an IV. I thought for sure she was dehydrated. They did however put her on a urinary catheter.
I will keep you updated on her condition and the move.
Good Day Y'all,
Yesterday was a bit better for Mom. She was much more alert, but she still has a tendency towards sleeping. She may still be recovering from the stroke as well as adjusting to her new medicine. At lunch on Friday, she ate farely well. She was trying to eat on her own, but she kept trying to get too much on her spoon and tying to shove it in her mouth. You try to tell her she has enough on her spoon, but she tries to get more. They put her back to bed after lunch and then we returned for dinner. I had to wake her up to eat and she was a bit lazy. She didn't want to hold her spoon as usual and I had to feed her. I told her she was being lazy making me feed her.
She was also making faces when she was eating everything except the desert. They had ground up hamburger for her and potato salad. I don't think she liked the taste of them, because when I got to the desert, she was not making faces and she was eagar to eat. So I think it just tasted bad. But the good news is that she kept down the food she ate. She just may have had a 24 hour bug and it ran it's course.
I spoke to the Dr. yesterday. He kinda caught me off guard. He call the staff there at dinner time and they came and got me so he could talk to me. He was supposed to get in touch with us last week and all this week. By this time, I had most of my questions answered, but he was able to tell me a few more things. I asked him about flying with Mom to move her, and he said no, she was a high risk for blood clots in the legs because of her lack of movement. I also asked about keeping her on the coumadin (blood thinner) and he said yes, she needed to stay on that the rest of her life (the physician's assistant told me they may take her off the coumadin and that sorta freaked me out. The two times Dad got off his coumadin, was the two times he had his strokes. Coumadin, is good, no coumadin is very bad). He said he would come in to check on her since she had this bout of illness. She was/is running a low grade feaver (which I didn't know about) to make sure it wasn't an infection. He also said that we could move her when we planned, if all goes well, and they get this infection taken care of, if that is what it is).
That's about all for now. Dad is doing well and so am I. I will head back to Houston tomorrow, so Joan will be taking over the e-mails.
Love and Hugs to all,
Mary and Eddie
Morning Everyone,
Today is Friday and things here are ok. Mom kinda had a bad day yesterday. She was looking pretty good when we got there for lunch and I got her a bowl of chicken noodle soup. She ate it just fine and was looking for more, but they were out of it. Lunch was a bit late (12:45) and everyone was waiting. It finally came and Mom took one bite of the meatloaf (made with onion, bell pepper, red peppers) and threw up. I got the nurse and they said to just try to eat the potatoes and see how that goes. She did fine on the potatoes, so we gave her one more bite of meatloaf and she started throwing up again. She ended up throwing up 4 times during while we were there for lunch.
They put her back to bed about 2pm. She also had dirreha (sp?) twice yesterday. The staff took her temp and blood pressure and both were ok. Temp 98.1 and bp 158/72.
We came back for dinner at 5pm and I gave her some beef vegatable soup with crackers. She kept that down. I pulled off the cover from her food and they had a noodle salad (cold) and chicken or tuna salad (cold). Both were made with onion, red peppers and mayo. I thought that may too much for her tummy and gave her another bowl of soup and some jello. She kept that down while we were there. I called back at 9pm and talked to the nurse and she said that she did indeed keep down dinner. I hope she is better today and hope that she just had a little bug.
I will let you know how she is today. Not much else to chat about today. Yesterday was a bit worrysome, but I guess everyone has their ups and downs.
Y'all have a good day. I will be going home on Sunday and Joan will be taking over for me, she arrives here sometime Saturday afternoon.
Thu 2/19/2004 7:27 AM
Good Morn Y'all,
What a beautiful day it was yesterday. A bit on cool side, high of 52, but breezy, which made you want to keep a jacket on in the shade, but hot in the car.
All is pretty good here. Dad is still snoozing and slept through the night. I kept waking up and listening for him to be on the prowel but he wasn't.
Mom was very groggy yesterday. I fussed at the staff about that (in the evening). Julia, the nurse aid, said mom didn't get her dilantin until 10 am that that is making her very sleepy. Julia said the pill nurse is gabbin too much and not getting the pills to the residents in a timely manor. The pill nurse, said she had to get it an hour after her breakfast. Mom was up for lunch, so to speak, but the speach therapist basically had to feed her, because she was too groggy. We had Julia put her down after we left to sleep off the dilantin.
Dad and I went back to see her at 5pm and she was fast asleep. I had to shake her to wake he up to eat dinner. Lori the RN was there and I spoke to her about the dilantin. Lori said it should be taken on an empty stomach. I asked, if she could get it before breakfast, because it was interfearing with her entire day, taking it as late as 10 am. She is unable to get any therapy if she is semi-comatose due to the lateness of getting a pill. I am not too sure why it is making her so sleepy. If you look at the drug side effects on the net about dilantin, it really says the sleepiness occurs at high doses. The staff told me she wasn't on a high dose of it at all. But I don't know if it is reacting with another one of her pills that is making her more sleepy when she takes it. Lori said she would look into it since she is so sleepy during the day. I just wonder if she is awake at night because of it. Tina the evening tech said she also complained to the nurses about the lateness of the pills and that Mom wasn't getting them properly.
So if anyone wants to visit mom, she may be very sleepy during the day. Perhaps the best visiting would be right at noon or 12:30 since she has to be semi-awake to eat.
That's about all for today, since I don't have much to talk about since it is a bit boring talking about Mom sleeping. Oh, when I woke her for dinner, she did look good. Her eyes were bright and she looked her normal self (that is normal after the strokes). I had her interested in looking at some family pictures and she was doing that until we had to leave to get Dad fed.
Y'all have a great day.
Love, Mary and Ed
Good Morning Y'all,
It's a bit cold here in sunny FL. It is a woppin' 41 degrees F. But I know some of y'all live in the north and this is shorts weather for you, but a bit cool for us here.
Yesterday, Mom was not looking too good yesterday around lunch. She has a wonderful roommate, Mary, and she commented to me that Mom wasn't her happy normal self and not smiling at all. Mom looked like she was about to nap and wasn't too interested in food. Dotty and Frank came just as they were taking Mom back to her room and Dotty thought she looked the worst she has seen her in the recent past. We went on home and came back at for supper. Mom looked great then. She had the sparkle to her eyes and she was pretty happy. She was smiling and recognized us when I got her glasses on her. I think she just was tired. I am not too sure when she takes that Dilantin and I think that is making her sleepy.
As we were getting ready to leave yesterday around 1:30, the Physician's Asst. (PA) stopped me to talk about Mom. She was pretty up about Mom's progress and felt that she was just about where she was before Feb 2, in her speach therapy and in her occupational therapy. Where she has slipped in the muscle tone and sitting ability. She is sleeping alot and they have discontinued her physical therapy. The PA felt she would be ok to be released the first week of March, so I think we are a go with the plans to move Mom that week. I also inquired with Sharon, the social worker, if she could find out if anyone there would be willing to make the trip with us to care for Mom and we would fly them back to FL. I told her the dates and she is going to ask around. We are planning to travel on a friday/saturday, so that wouldn't mean too much time off work for someone. We could get them back either late Saturday or early Sunday am. So we will see if we can hire one from the staff there. If not we will see what else we can do.
Dad has been pretty good. He hasn't been bugging Mom when we visit her. That is great. He had a bit of a restless night last night and did a bit of wondering around unil about 12:30 am. He kept thinking there were more people in the house than the 2 of us. He finally settled down and got to sleep. He got up this am at 8 and had breakfast and went back to bed. I will let him sleep an hour or so, then I will get him up for the day.
I picked oranges and made juice yesterday. Five gallons!! The freezer is full and there are still a bunch on the tree. I can see why Mom got a little anxious about making juice. They fall on the ground and then they start to mold and then their are more on the tree. It is a vicious cycle. Oh, and both orange trees are getting their buds for the next crop!!! I even gave some to a lady at DM who juices oranges. Joan and Tom, you will have to take her some on your week here to get rid of them. I of course picked the lower ones, but there are still many more low ones on the tree.
Not much else going on here. I will keep you posted.
Love and hugs,
#1 orange juicer and Dad.
All is well down here in FL. I spoke with the nurses yesterday and they were a bit encouraging. Melanie, the occupational therapist, said she was amazed that Mom didn't slide back too much with her Occ therapy after this past stroke. She said she is physicallly not as good as she was before the last stroke, but she didn't loose too much with her fine motor skills and is excited that she can still feed herself. Mom is still having a bit of a time trying to get the food on the spoon and is having some tremors and the food falls off, but as Melanie says, she has a great appatiate and is trying to eat.
Mom can't really sit up very well at this point. She lost alot of the muscle tone it takes to keep herself upright. She has done alot of sleeping after the last stroke and that has made those muscles weak again. They are sitting her in a specialized recliner that is more a recliner than a wheelchair. Mom seems not to be using (i.e. propping herself up) with her right arm. Before, she was applying some pressure on the right side and that was holding her up some on the right side.
They have stopped her physical therapy and I waiting to talk to the MD to find out why they have totally stopped. I think she can do a few minutes a day to keep up her muscle tone. Melanie is still doing her streching excersise to keep up some of the tone.
I made her some pictures of the family with our names on the pages and then I laminated them. She likes to look at them and I also made some that have a few words like, yes, no, stop, water, sick, hungry and she likes to look at them.
Kuddos to Anna. She worked real hard with Dad to keep him from poking at Mom and he really didn't do that at all yesterday!!! We were there 3 hours and only once did she swat at him, when he was holding her hand. She wanted to look at the pictures and he had her hand. Yea Anna!! We will see if that was a fluke yesterday, or he has finally clued in that she doesn't want him to poke at her.
Dad has been sleeping well during the night since I got here. That is good. Dotty says he looks a bit more rested. I think he gets out of sync sometimes and needs to get readjusted to everyones different routine when our shift changes.
I got Dad new blades in his razor and got him all shaved up. And I got him one of those "personal groomers" that you see advertized on TV. It looks like a stick and it majically makes hair disappear. It really works to get those longer hairs that he misses when he shaves. I sat him in his recliner and plugged in the electric razor and went after him, and he liked it. So we got a good shave yesterday.
Not much else going on here. I may try to juice some of the oranges this week. It is a bit of work, but the juice is good. The tree is loaded and you really hate to see them wasted. The last time I was here, I got about 2.5 gals made. I guess it was about 200 or so oranges. It filled the kitchen trash bag with the skins. Trash day is this am, so I missed the boat to get rid of them for this week's trash. Oh, well, Joan can take it next week.
When I spoke with the nurse, and told her that we would like to take Mom to Houston the first week in March, she thought that was doable, but we have to get the Dr. to release her. She is pretty stable with her meds now. She is taking dilantin for the seizures and they had to get that and the coumadin stable. The dilantin makes the coumadin work better, so they have to readjust.
We are going to move them to Tx via a RV. Mom can't sit up for longer than a few hours (3) at this time and when I came here the other day, it was about 8 to 9 hours from when I left home to when I got here. So we are looking at RV rentals. We have to wait a bit to rent one in Houston. We have this thing called a Rodeo. Right before the rodeo, they have all these trail rides where people get on horses and ride the different trails to Houston. Some are longer than others and some are short. They all start at different times then they meet up in Memorial Park and have a big party and ho-down, then a rodeo parade. Well, all the RV's are rented out for the last week in Feb. I guess the RV is the covered wagon of the 2000's. Gotta keep the urban cowboys comfey when they travel.
I will keep you up to date on how stuff is going here.
Mary and Ed
Are you sure that it would be OK for me not to be involved? I can cancel out of that class if you want me to do so. I feel like I am abandoning ship. Tom I will need to come back on the 29th, as I am not flying, so I need you to come in early that AM or on Sat.
Love, JO
2/16/05
Mom looks pretty ok today. Her eyes are bright and she is doing fairly well. She has digressed after the last stroke on Feb 2, but she is ok. She won't sit up as long as she did before and now she is having a little trouble swallowing.
Dad is good, I got him new blades for his electric shaver (the old one) and it works much better and I got him looking pretty good.
I am still trying to get to talk to the doctor. Lori (the RN at DM) said she know we want to talk to him and he has been busy and will give him till tomorrow to call us, then she will start to bug him. She said according to her it would be ok to move mom the first week in March, but as she says, she isn't the doctor. So the tenative plan will be to get an RV (the therapist said she can't sit up for longer than a few hours and the plane trip would be too long for her to sit without laying down for a while).
We can get it On wednesday after work (March 3rd) and have Anna, Mary Jerry Kelley and Buddy/Donnie and head to fl. We can go a ways that night and finish up on Thurs. This leaves us Friday to pack and move out. We can get rid of Dad at Dottie and Frank's and pack the RV & a pull behind trailer. We get Dad and leave from their to get Mom at DM. We will have their car and 2 can drive the car behind the RV. So we would have Tom, Jerry, Mary, Kelley Mom, Dad and maybe a nurse in the RV.
Anna and Buddy could drive the car (or we can swap out people in the car). We haul ass to TX and Dad and Anna would go to her house while we un pack mom and the trailer. After the Apt is set up we bring dad to VOP.
Joan would stay in Atl and come down spring break to finish up the house.
Joan would be here next week (Feb 23)
Tom would do Dad care/moving the week of Mar 1 and Tom could go home from houston on Sunday after the move.
So here is a tentative or first stab at an RV moving plan.
Sticking my two cents in......
Everyone is hoping the VOP works out but the options discussed last night were "just in case" and "worst case scenario"..
MOM: Mary has informed the home health service of M's status so they could more accurately access her needs - and the additional cost of meeting those needs. They've quoted a very reasonable price so it sounds like the VOP should be fine for her (and fall within financial constraints).
DAD: If D needs one-to-one staffing 24/7 (which is absolutely the worst case scenario and will probably NOT be necessary but it is wise to have options just in case) then the VOP will end up being prohibitively expensive so another option would have to be found fairly immediately. Lynda had several ideas/recommendations which would not be too burdensome financially.
TRAVEL: Anna, if you get a chance, please ask the doctor SPECIFICALLY if M can fly (medically speaking - clots, etc) and whether she can sit upright for 10 hours (just to pad the time a little in case of airplane malfunctions) which is much more than she is presently doing That can help clarify the situation so plans can be made.
Medical Power of Attorney: Here is a free site which has both Texas and Florida forms. Lynda recommends that each one of you get the forms signed while you are there (and go ahead and pay the $100 notary fee - total robbery :-((( - unless you can find an alternative such as a notary friend who could stop by DM). Anna, hopefully you can get it done before you leave (and serve as the test case as to whether M can sign).
http://familycaregiversonline.com/legal-medical.html#Health%20Care%20Power%20of%20Attorney
Love to you all AND IT WILL ALL WORK OUT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Kell
Hi Everyone,
I had a meeting with the staff at DM today, and learned about the "incident" last week. The official diagnosis is a second stroke (CVA), not just grand mal seizures or a ministroke (TIA). This was from the report on the CT scan from the emergency room. Her entire left side of the brain is "gone," particularly the parital and temporal portions. I have no idea what those do in particular. The DM staff did not know what caused the seizures. They requested that the doctor either meet with me at DM tomorrow or Friday, or at least call me if we are not at there at the same time. The staff will try to give me an estimated time he will be there, but they say this is sometimes very not accurate as if emergencies come up, it throws off his schedule.
The decision on when she can travel is the doctor's also. Right now she is very tired and recouperating from both the second stroke and the seizures, which are both hard physically. So the regression in her progress was due to a stroke, which makes a lot of sense.
Right now she has the desired therapeutic levels of dilantan in her blood with taking 200 mg 2x per day. They are still adjusting the coumadin. The dilantan may or may not be for the rest of her life. They will probably try to take her dosage down and see how she responds, but that would not be for at least 6 months. She will be on the coumadin forever.
The physical therapist has terminated the therapy, as she had plateaued before the second stroke. He has shown the nursing staff how to manipulate her bad leg and arm to keep the muscle tone up, but he said that she will probably always need 2 people working together to get her in and out of chairs and beds. They will teach us how to do this before she leaves for Houston. She still is receiving occupational and speech therapy.
Joan, Medicare Part B will pay 80% of her therapy costs, so you will receive a bill for her daily rate plus the 20% of the therapy costs from DM.
Frances Brown came to visit Mom this afternoon, and as soon as Mom saw her, she gave Frances a big smile and waved to her. That's the first time anyone has seen her wave to anyone. Frances also brought a bouquet of flowers which Mom found very interesting. She took the bouquet in her good hand, looked it all over, turning it around to see all sided and smelled it. Thanks so much, Frances.
Later I also offered Mom a Woman's Day magazine. She took it, laid it in her lap, and went through it page by page. She was turning the pages herself until she got too many in her hand. She was also trying to manage it not falling between her legs at the same time. Then I would start to turn each page lifting the corner about an inch or two, and she would take it and finish opening it herself. She would then indicate when she was finished by jerking her hand up and down a bit, kind of a tremble. I would offer her the next page's corner, and the process would repeat. Some pages she looked at longer than others. The impression I got was of someone scanning to see if there was anything interesting and going on to the next page. She was moving her head appropriately also as she was scanning the pages. She wasn't interested in the print, but seemed to be focusing on the pictures. She got through about 3/4 of the magazine when the nurse came to put her back into bed.
This was 3:30 pm, and she was beginning to look really tired and had slumped down uncomfortable in her wheel chair. That's also the longest she has stayed awake after lunch since the second stroke.
Daddy is doing better about not bothering her so much. Unfortunately (or not) on Monday I lost my temper and lightly slapped his hand when he was bothering her with his dirty handkerchief. She absolutely hates that and screws up her face and pushes his hand away with her good hand, but he doesn't respect that. He is very loving with her and he bothers her to get a reaction from her, but the reaction he gets is not what he wants. He wants her to talk to him like she used to, and she can not any more. So when this happened yet again for the umpteenth time that day, I lost my temper, slapped his hand, and said sharply, "Don't do that. She is telling you no." At the time I was kind of mortified that I'd done that, but you know, he's been much better since then. He doesn't even try it nearly as much, and when I tell him to stop he does. I'm trying to educate him that she can't talk, but her pushing his hand away means no. He seems to be catching on.
Well, that's about all for today. Take care and many thanks for your prayers and support.
Hugs, Anna
Hi Y'all,
This is Anna. I'm here for this week and will be sending you updates on Eleanore.
She is sleeping quite a bit since the grand mal seizures a week ago, which they say is not unusual. She is also weak and the right side of her face is noticably drooping which had not been so for the last 6-8 weeks or so before this grand mal episode. However, the docs say it was not another stroke.
On the positive side, she is now purposefully moving her right leg (the bad one) and her body posture is noticably straighter. She continues to respond to people as she did before the seizures. Her blood is being monitored daily so that the proper dosages of coumadin and dilantan are given to her. The dilantan in addition to controling the seizures has a mild blood thinning effect, so the coumadin dose must be lowered in order that her blood is not too thin. The nurse told me yesterday that it will be at least another week or 2 until they are satisfied that her blood thinner levels are appropriate and also stable. So the move to Houston is postponed until after that at least.
I'll keep you informed on any other news. Thanks for all your prayers and support,
Love and hugs, Anna and Eddie
2/5/05
Y'all I did some calling around for RV's. Ran into a little problem. They are all booked up for the end of February and don't have availability until March. We have a little thing called Rodeo going on and the end of Feb is when all the trail rides occur. Those lazy ass "cowboys" ride on the horses during the day and sleep etc in those fancy RV's. So I guess RV's are the covered wagons of the 2000's.
So they are available after the first of March and I found a good place with good rates. The 27 foot ones run $700-$750 a week. and they have their prices on the web page. The weekly rentals come with 700 free miles and then it is .25/mile after. M&D's is around 1050 one way so, if you say 2200 miles - 700 = 1500 X 0.25 = $375.00 for the extra miles.
The gas is of course on your own.
The big issue is that they say there is not any RV's that will accommodate a wheel chair through the door. So Mom would have be gotten into the RV someway other than in a wheelchair. That may be a deal breaker right there. You could maybe use a back board (what they carry patients on in ambulances and on TV). You would secure the patient, pick up the back board and carry them to the bed.
I think Anna and I would have to look at them to see if there are any that would work for us.
Hope y'all are having a good day.
Good Rain Morning here in Houston,
I spoke with Aunt D last night and have a bit of an update for you. Mom was awake and sleeping during the day yesterday. Aunt D said that she would wake up for a while and be somewhat interactive with people (smiling, looking reacting to them) and then she would get tired and take a nap. I think I have this correct, Aunt D said that Mom was in another type of chair (not her normal wheelchair) and she was moving her RIGHT leg on purpose.
For those who haven't seen Mom after the stroke, one of the things she does is move her left leg alot when she sits in the wheelchair. She moves the leg at the hip and bends her knee and straightens out her leg. She kinda does this all the time. Yesterday, she did the same with her RIGHT leg (the bad one) about 4 or 5 times. YEA MOM! That is wonderful. She also took the wash cloth from the nurse and washed her own face with the wash cloth during her bath.
One setback is that she was not able to swallow yesterday. The speach therapist tried and she couldn't swallow, so she was going to try again before she left for the day. Aunt D didn't know the results of that other than they fed her last night through the feeding tube (I guess they knew better than to remove it we were wondering why not remove it since she was eating on her own, but I guess they have their reasons and their reasons were correct).
Aunt D and Uncle Bob are leaving today, so I will find out from Bobby and Judy if she is eating today and let y'all know how that goes. It may be that it takes a bit of time to get the valium out of her system and maybe that may be causing her not to swallow (Oh, and this is just me guessing about the valium, not that this is from the staff there). But I don't really know the answer to that one.
Aunt D feels that it will take a few days for Mom to bounce back and should not have lost too much because of the seizures.
I hope everyone has a great day, it is going to be rainy all day today with chances of flooding (just what Houston needs). It could be a busy day for a safety person if the water starts to rise, or it could be a quiet day watching the trian hit cars. Just kidding. We have a new rail train in Houston and it runs past my office. I hear the Wooo Wooo of the computer generated whistle every 12 minutes or something and we have had 2 train vs auto accidents in front of our hospital since it went into service Jan 1.
Love and Hugs to everyone,
Tuesday, February 03, 2004 11:51 AM
I just spoke with the physician's assistant for Mom. She said that mom opened her eyes for her while she was examining her (just moments before I called) and her lungs sounded good and overall she was stable. She may sleep as long as 24 hours to recover from the seizures and she is on dilantin and was on valium at the hospital. These drugs will make her sleepy.
She has order the therapy to continue and her same meals. The dr. said that Mom was on coumadin (the blood thinner drug) since she had the stroke and was not ever taken off of it. They will have to do some adjustments to her meds in that the dilantin will make the coumadin work better, so that she may not need as much coumadin.
I asked if they knew what caused the seizures and she said at this time, no. When they brought mom back to DM, they did not get a copy of her chart. The Dr. at DM said that they will order a copy of it for the chart at DM. But she said again that she didn't have a stroke yesterday.
Will keep you up to date as I hear. Love, Mary
Well, yesterday we had a huge scare with Mom. I will start off saying she is stable at this moment.
At about 5pm (Fl time), yesterday, Aunt Dolores got a phone call from DM telling her that Mom had a stroke and what hospital did they want her to go to. Aunt D told them the one where they did her surgery and had the first stroke at. What happened at DM was the nursing staff put Mom back in the bed for an afternoon nap and a few minutes later, she had a grand mal seizure which lasted 5 minutes and she was non-responsive, but breathing on her own. The EMT's were called and she was taken to the hospital. She also had two more seizures and bit her tongue on the ride to the hospital. The ER did a cat scan and told us that the entire left side of her brain was "gone" and they had put her on some medication (dilantin) and she was resting comfortably.
The hospital called Aunt D at about midnight (we didn't find this out till the morning) and said they had transferred her back to DM and that she DID NOT have another stroke. The damage they saw on the cat scan was the damage from the one and only stroke she had in October. Whomever talked to Aunt D, said there was a problem with Mom's medication and that is what caused the seizures and that Mom would not likely get the use of her right arm and right leg back, since there was too much brain damage from the stroke. She is currently back at DM and when Dad wakes up they will go and see Mom and find out some additional info. When I get the info, I will let all of you know what is going on.
At this time we are postponing the move to Texas and hopefully, when Mom is stablized, we will move both of them at that time.
Keep the prayers coming don't stop them, we sure do need them now.
Take care everyone,
2/11/05
Mary,
Look at this website http://www.patienttravel.org/ They could help find deeply discounted seats to move people like Mom. It may be worth a call. Love,JO
Hey everyone,
Thanks Jo for the website. I had looked at it before. The issue with this 1. It is for people who can't afford to fly and are more in the poverty realm of the spectrum. 2nd, is that it is intended to provide treatment options for the person traveling. For instance, if you live in an area and there is one doctor who will treat you and you can't get that treatment anywhere else, they will help to get you there. One instance would be if you had a child with brain tumor who was underprivileged and lives far away from a cancer center, they would pay for the weekly travel to and from the center.
Unfortunately, Mom and Dad aren't in the poverty level of finances and we aren't transporting her to get special treatment. Good thought though, I ran across this before and inquired.
On another subject, sorta, Mom and the move and living etc.
Last night Kelley, her Mom - Naomi, and I met with a friend of theirs Lynda. Lynda's job is to find housing for the elderly and to help find the proper care for them. We had a very good meeting and Lynda has some good ideas that we didn't think of. But first I did some research.
Well, first off, I want to say that when we wanted to move Mom (pre second stroke), I think the situation was a little different and we had a different outlook on her prognosis. So now I am not too sure what to do with them. On one hand, I keep talking to the people at VOP and their Home Health staff, and they assure me they can handle Mom, and they say with the amount of care she needs, they will be in their apartment all the time, most likely as much time as they are with Mom at DM. Then, sometimes I think that we may need a private duty nurse/aide to be there all the time, so someone one can keep a watch on Dad with Mom.
I did some calling around and found out how much a companion/sitter would be to stay with Mom and Dad to keep Dad occupied. I had an eye opening experience. To have a sitter stay with Dad for 8 hours it costs anywhere from $14.00/hour to $16.00/hour with a 4 hour minimum each day you need them. If you do the math at $14.00/hour/40 hours a week/ for 4 weeks (one month) the cost is $2240.00 a month. Now this is a person who is "hands off" with care. This is just a sitter and would do nothing for Mom. And you would still pay for the help with Mom which I have calculated to be about $1500.00 (a bit high I think than actual cost, but using this for a round figure). So if you had the VOP do Mom and a "sitter" for Dad, the cost would be $3740/month without the rent, which is $2395.00/ month which brings your monthly cost to $6135.00 a month. I don't think their finances would last long at all under this situation. So all in all I don't think getting a private sitter for Dad will not work financially, for the long haul.
Now the home health staff said they would be in their apt. all the time. Would that be enough to keep them from having Dad fuss with Mom? I don't know. He may get to VOP and find some manly friends and be out of there or he may find a place to sit and people watch (like by the fire place in the main hall) and be happy as a clam. At this time, I just don't know. Would could have Dad at one of our homes during the day, but you would still have to have someone there with him, I don't think he can stay totally alone for 8-12 hours a day. Same money thing, paying for care for both of them.
Lynda has an interesting proposal for us to think about. She said you could rent a 2 bedroom apartment (on the first floor near our homes, which there are a lot of them in our neighborhood just as close as the VOP), and hire round the clock care (approx 3 nurses) and provide them with the second bedroom and board and some cash. Lynda said that she know a few people who have done this. You offer them a fixed amount of cash I.e. $2500.00 a month to care for M&D. They take shifts say, 3 days on 2 days off and they rotate. They sleep there and are there if M&D need care during the night. They split the cash and they have free room and board. Interesting. Didn't know you could do that. So you would have personal M&D care in an apartment for approx $4000/month (estimating high with a $1000.00 rent and $1000 utilities and food - which I think that would be very high). Lynda knows nurses that do this and really like the situation. They are nurses that are from another country (like South Africa), who are not licensed to work in the states, but were in their country.
Now, you could also save some money and this could be done in my house, but I would have to do some remodeling before they could live downstairs, our spare room is too small to have a wheelchair and the room would need to enlarged to encompass the entire garage and you would have to add a separate ac/heater (the portable one's just won't do for long term living in that space). We would have to enlarge one of the doors between the kitchen and the living room since I don't think we could get a wheel chair through that door way. It is not a support wall (by the desk) and would be pretty easy to do. We would also have to make a ramp to get into the house. As Jerry says some of this is a piece of cake. We could use Emily's old room for the nurses room. This option would be good, in one respect in that Jerry and I are there also, to keep an eye on the nurses and would be able to do something if the next shift didn't show up. And the other advantage would be that you don't have to pay for M&D's rent in an apt or VOP.
Lynda, also knows a great shrink who deals with the elderly and makes home visits. And she lives out near us, so she could see M&D (mostly Dad) on her way home from her office. Lynda also has great contacts for therapy.
We also had a big big talk on how to move Mom to TX. One thing that she told me is that her mom (who is not in the same shape as Mom, but has a lot of the same issues we have) is not allowed to fly at all because of the potential of developing blood clots in her legs. Since we don't know why Mom had a second stroke and don't know if she had a blood clot (the most common form of stroke) cause this new stroke, she may not be able to fly. Lynda had a lot of helpful hints about transporting her in the RV and thought that may be a good way to transport her if we can't put her on the plane. One thing now, is that Mom isn't sitting as long as she was when the first plan was formed. So I don't know if she could tolerate the sitting time from getting her ready at DM, the hour trip to the airport, the 2 hour wait (or so) to get on the plane and thought the security, and then the 2.5 hour plane trip, then the time to deplane, get through the airport and then the 1/2 hour trip to the VOP. I think she would be up for about 6-7 hours at a minimum for the plane trip. She may be getting better and in a few weeks she may be able to tolerate that amount of time, but from Anna's last e-mail, I am not too sure she could now.
So, in summary, all I can say is that I am totally confused. I think our original plan is a good one, but I don't know now with her having a second stroke, not just seizures, if that is the best plan for their overall care and transport. I just don't know. Maybe I will know better after I see her on Sunday. I just don't know at this moment in time.
I hope I haven't upset anyone. I really didn't mean to if I did, I just feel pretty bad knowing this was a second stroke, and these are just some of my concerns. Maybe it is your turn to tell me it will be OK.
Oh, and Lynda's big thing she said to me is that we need to get a medical power of attorney for her as soon as possible and we shouldn't move her at all without one, especially if Dad is not traveling with her. Lynda said you can pick one up Office Depot or get one on the internet and print it out and do the get Mom to sign it in front of the notary republic at DM. I tried to find one on the net, but couldn't find one for free.
Gotta run to a meeting.
I got back from staying with my Dad last night and wanted to give you an update. (I had some of your address in Fl, so you may have heard some of this)
Things in FL are good, that is when I left. Mom seems to be doing pretty well. She still cannot speak or walk, but she is trying to do some vocalization. She was given a bath on Friday, well, more accurately, a shower. The nurse aid said they were assisting her and Mom did a lot herself. She was able to wash her right side, her chest, abdomen, legs, and face. The only area she need total assistance was the left arm. She also made some vocalizations during the shower. The nurse said that she was crying, she wasn't sure if it hurt, or why she was crying, but she was making some noise.
On, Saturday, the Stroke Club had a little party at DM for Mom. They had cookies and punch, and gave Mom a wonderful plaque honoring her ten year reign as Stroke Club President. Mom was pretty alert during the party and loved seeing all the people there. After most everyone left and only a few of us were there, Mom picked up a punch glass, held it up to her mouth and drank some of the punch, straight from the glass. We didn't know she could drink without a straw. That was great. Aunt Dolores and I were on the other side of the table at the time and couldn't get over to Mom fast enoght to get the glass out of her hand. Well, she showed us and didn't spill one drop. Yea Mom!
Mom is eating pretty well and is just about totally feeding herself. Some times they give her the wrong utencil and I have to help her. But who can eat a tator tot on a folk with out stabbing the tot and get to their mouth without it rolling off. Not too many of us. So what I would do, is stab the food and give the fork to her and she would grab it and feed herself, if it was a funny food. Grapes too rolled off the fork, and I had to stab those too. But overall she is doing well with the eating.
I found out that Mom is not seeing at all out of her right eye and parts of her left. She only has a small "window" of view from her left eye. This is because the brain is not recognizing the signal from the eye and that part of the brain must be damaged. So you have to get things in her correct view for her to see them. So what happens when she eats is that she moves some of the food (while trying to get it on the fork or spoon) to the right side of the plate. If you turn the plate or move the food to the left side, she will then see that she has more to eat and will continue eating. She will push her tray away when she is full and then she will start to clean up the area.
Dad is trying his best to get Mom to react to him. So he pokes at her, stuffs tissues up her sleeve, puts his hand up her sleeve, musses up her hair etc to get a reaction from her. She will get mad at him and make a face, then she will take her left arm (the good one) and either push his arm/hand away or smack him. The speech therapist said my brother, Tom, said that Mom's first word is going either be, NO or STOP to Dad. He is bothering her so much, you really want to keep him away from her so she will be in peace. I tried blocking his access to her and he will bypass me every time. Aunt D and I were laughing at how I would try to block and he would get around it. He is persistent.
On Sunday, I got some energy and picked a few buckets of oranges and got the stuff out to make orange juice. I asked Dad to help me pick oranges, and he said "no, that's work" and went back to the couch. So I got a couple of gallons made and took a big cup to Mom and she loved it and was looking for more juice. I told her the juice was from her tree and she smiled.
We are planning to take them to Houston on the 8th of Feb. They will be living in a very nice assisted living apartment and you buy the extra care that are needed from the home health group that has an office at the facility. This place is only 1 mile from my house and .7 mile from Anna's house. So we will be able to check in on them daily and help them out as needed.
Well, that is about all I can think of at this moment to update you.
Thank you all for all the prayers and help that you have given our family. We love all of you and want you to keep on praying. We still have a way to go. It is slow going, but there is some progress made.
1/15/04
Hey Everyone, I got an update on mom from my brother who is down there now and thought I would pass it on. There hasn't been a lot to talk about down there and Dad has not been to good and he now doesn't like you to get on the computer or the phone when you are there with him. Our plan is to move them to Houston the first week of Feb to an assisted living place about a mile from Anna's and my homes.
Hope all is well with all of you and I will keep you updated. See Below.
We had a good day today. It started off kind of on a shaky note as dad said he was sick. He complained of soreness in his legs and across his shoulders (back). He also said he was cold. I ran through the warning signs of a heart attack and he said he wanted to go back to bed. He did and slept until the cleaning lady came. He felt better so we went with the plan.
Nothing unusual with Aunt Jay. He definitely has little tolerance for his foibles. I can see how she gets under his skin. He also feels like he is declining fast. She is definately bummed watching his decline. She was saying things like he was so smart, now look at him.
Anyway we got back to DM and mom had her eyes closed. It looked like she was trying to get to sleep after here pm workout. Dad did not get the idea of just sitting here and letting her sleep. He was clicking his fingernails in her ears, making a whooshing sound, etc. I took him outside for a while and then we came back in after 45 minutes. Mom was awake and had been changed.
The big news is that Mom turned her head to look at the picture wall!! I had not seen her do that. She was laying down looking toward the other bed. I had been going through some pictures that i had brought down and thought that i should get some of the board on the wall, as she had not seen them in a while (at least since i was there.) Anyway i was pulling a few off the board and after about 2-3 minutes i turned around and she was looking right at me. She had turned he head to see what i was doing. I know her head position was big deal to the PT guy at the hospital and that was the first time i saw her do that. So i think that was good.
From what i have seen is that he really wanted to be with mom at DM. He is not comfortable without here at home. But when we do take him to see her he is not really helpful. I think that mom is distracted by us when we come in during her PT session. And he can not sit still and just hang when she is not in PT. I have found the best time for them to be together is at lunch when they can both be eating. In the evening he is "klicking" at her, "whooshing" at her, putting his hat in her face, saying "are you sleeping on the floor?" I think he is annoying her.
Anyway, i will end now. Take care, Love to all. tom
