Thu 7/3/2008 8:08 AM

Hi, How you all doing today? I want to try to get a hold of y'all before you talked to the hospice folks. I had some thoughts upon waking up this morning. The folks at work brace themselves when I tell them that I had this thought or that thought when I woke up. Usually what happens is all the clutter of the day evaporates, and I get a clear view of the issues on my mind.

This morning my thoughts were on Dad.  Last night when I was on the phone with Anna we were talking about when dad might pass.   I said that if I were to place a bet that I would bet on him living past his birthday.  I guess what I was assuming was that he would be continuing to get any antibiotics or that they would be keeping up with the amounts of cumadin (sp?) to keep him from having congestive heart failure.

However, it seems like he is walking a very thin line between having the proper meds, and being dead.  If we take him off the meds, he could be gone fast.  I say this as I think of the time that ya'll took Dad to the hospital and the ER doc told Joan that "if you don't admit him he will be dead by tomorrow",   Also, Mary and Anna had previous conversations concerning hospice people whereby it was said that they "don't give medicine" in a hospice situation.  When I combined these things as I woke up it got me to thinking that dad could pass on a lot sooner rather than later.

Then there is the fact that he is in pain from the cancer and the kidney stones there will have to be a big factor of how the pain is managed.  I think we are all in agreement that we should do all that is possible to minimize the pain that he is suffering.  How is this going to be handled by the hospice people? I would certainly hope that they would not withhold pain med for fear of him becoming an addict, but one of the issues with morphine or other narcotics, is that they depress the breathing and this could lead to his lungs filling up and pneumonia or congestive heart failure. 

I guess what became clear to  me this morning is that his passing could be coming sooner than I was thinking and given the fact that he could be in serious pain I would say "don't hold things up on my account".  I can be on a plane very quickly to be there as he passes.  So if it looks like things are going to happen fast think in terms of what is best for Dad. 

I have my cell phone so please give me a call if this is not clear to ya'll.

Love to all,

 Tom